Cool rock formations from Hawaii and More
Morgan took this picture in Hawaii and I said, “What a cool rock formation,” and Morgan said, “Mom! – Look at all the faces in the clouds!!!”
In the wee hours of the morning, at 22 past midnight Morgan texts me “You aren’t still up, are you?” I was, and I feel like she caught me, I answer “Yes, why?” Morgan says, “Nevermind.” Now she’s really caught me and I ask her “Why are you still up?” Which is a silly question of course, 20-year-old girls stay up late. Before she had a stalker she would be up working on some project or watching movies or talking on her phone till way late all the time. Now she was tired and interested in a good nights sleep, as much as we were. Morgan does not answer, and I let it go at that.
At 1:12 am the motion light outside the back of our room goes on. I reach over for Steve, but he is already awake and grabs my arm before I can tap him. That startles me deeply, everything seems to startle me now. There is a crash noise right outside and Steve doesn’t bother with lights or clothes and just hops up and runs out our back door. I get up and lift the blinds. I don’t see anything, not even Steve. Which is a concern, but then I see him coming over the berm. He sees me and shakes his head.
When he’s back inside he tells me that he thought he saw something, maybe a man, hard to be sure. He went as far as over the berm and then he saw nothing, he just stood there and froze and waited for something to move, but the cold eventually convinced him to come back in. There is always a next time and we go to sleep.
Morgan calls me in the morning and wants to go see her doctor. She is in pain, her back has been hurting more and more. I think it was sleeping on the closet floor all that time, and Morgan thinks it is just stress. I told her, of course go see the doctor – she doesn’t miss class very often, so once is not going to be that big of a deal.
Morgan sends her teacher a text message, “I am going to run to the doctor this morning so I’m going to miss class. I’ll see you tomorrow!!” Her teacher texted back, “OK.”
She goes to see her doctor and he helps by realigning her back, tells her she has strained her hip and needs to be careful on it for a week or so until it really feels better. Dr. Jensen is a great holistic doctor and Morgan really trusts him. She is so much happier when she gets home. I tell her that her deal with her dad to not wake me is off and I promise I won’t talk or call, but just to send me a blank text whenever there is a noise against her window that wakes her. She is a tough sell, but finally agrees.
That night as we are going to bed I tell Steve the new plan with Morgan and he says I will never be able to do it. I tell him something like, just watch me. Then at 1 minute before 11:00 pm she sends me one bubble on my phone. I didn’t realize how hard it would be. I lie there having to know if it was a little noise or a big noise, or if she was sleeping soundly or lightly. I want to know something, but a deal’s a deal, and I let her sleep. And then I lay there wide awake.
Today is October 3, 2012 – I miss Morgan a lot today, I move throughout my day for my job, but otherwise I feel like I am not doing enough for Morgan. I asked her friends to write something about Morgan when they get a chance, and her best friend wrote the most beautiful thing. I read it to Steve and he said, “True friends, so hard to find, and even harder to have taken away.” We know it’s hard for her friends to sit down and write something – they are still dealing with the loss, just like us. This past Saturday night we met with two of her friends and one of them said to us that it was the first time he could face us to talk about Morgan, because it hurt so much. We both miss her a little more right now. I’m not sure why. The pain never goes away. So many people are working hard to help her, and us – to get the truth out. And I really want to tell them all thank you again, Morgan and Steve and I appreciate what you are doing so very much. We could not do what we are doing without all of your help, it means the world to us while we still continue to fight an uphill battle to try to get justice for Morgan. It seems like there are also people out there that don’t care about the truth, they only want to be right, and for them I feel sorry, because the truth is there, and won’t change.