Morgan loved to write, it was without doubt her first passion. Photography was climbing quickly, but was still a distant second. When the detectives told me things right after Morgan’s death I might have not have fully absorbed what they were telling me. I have been assured many times since then that this is normal. But when a time came a few weeks after her death that I was told everything had been returned except her diary, that I remember.
The two individual pieces of information did not come together for a while, but as I was packing up Morgan’s room I came across her last diary, and even the one before that. The last diary she was writing in I will never forget, because instead of keeping it to herself she had been sharing it with me. It was her future plans, they were as bold and filled with love as Morgan was. I clearly remembering how proud I was of her as she went over the latest diary entry with me. What I would not give to see her be able to live out her plans, but no one can do that now. Only right the wrongs, for her and for so many others.
But there I was between Christmas and New Years remembering so vividly her last diary, and suddenly putting it together with the statement that they still had her diary. What diary did they have? It was not her last for sure, not even the one before. I wondered if it was even Morgan’s at all. She had been involved in a very personal situation with a close friend that had come to involve a diary that did not belong to Morgan, but she was entrusted with and I feared that it was this diary they were referring to.
I wished so much then that there had been more communication with the Coroner or the Sheriffs, but there had not been. Nobody wanted to talk to us about anything! They had not talked to any of her doctors, none of her teachers, close friends, and definitely not Steve or I. There were things that simply could not be just guessed at and as a month had nearly passed since her death I was openly questioning where information about Morgan was coming from, because it was not from any source that would actually know.
And now to think that a diary that was not even Morgan’s could have been mistakenly taken as hers was upsetting to say the least. The person who’s diary Morgan had was having personal issues. I asked for the diary, was told they would get it to me, but was never given it back. If it wasn’t one of Morgan’s I am sure once it is compared to her other diaries they will see the difference in the writing, but then again when will that happen This is just one more thing that is still outstanding in this case from over a year ago. On this day Steve and I went to see our grief counselor again, she couldn’t understand why the communication from Garfield County had been so bad and she said to keep insisting that we get the diary back so we could see if it was hers or not. We are still to this day trying to get it back.
Today, February 21, 2013 – I just opened up a drawer and came across another card that Morgan had made for me…after I stopped crying I smiled and decided I should share it with all of you.