An idea or two about how to catch your #stalker…

Blue field

Experience, when it comes to stalking I know I have more experience now than I did at one time in the past, and I am not sure how to explain it simply.  So I checked Wikipedia for a definition, and it goes like this – “We gained knowledge or skill through involvement or exposure to a thing or event.”  While the range of degrees of experience is quite large, I like this abbreviated definition, it seems to serve the purpose.

We (Steve and I) have been through a stalking, that ended with the murder of our youngest daughter.  We experienced it from beginning to end.

Throughout this horrifying experience we thought we were being proactive.  Many times one of the Sheriff’s Deputies or Detectives would comment on how they thought we were going overboard in what we were doing, in comparison with anything they had seen before.  In our reality what we were doing was our very best to catch this person.  The fact that it ended in failure should give us all pause.  No parent wants to be in our position, and fail.  No parent wants their child to suffer as Morgan did.  They need to protect their child, they need help from others, and just how much, and when is completely unknown.

It is one thing to imagine a peeping tom, who is so transfixed at a young woman’s bathroom window, that the peeping tom does not know that the father of the young woman he is so horribly violating, is coming ever closer, and growing more livid with every step, until it is too late for this peeping tom – he is caught red-handed in the act.

A very old friend of Steve’s had a picture of a man who was caught, by the father of a victim of a peeping tom that was looking in the window at his daughter, and this peeping tom had obviously received a vigorous beating before he was cuffed, and brought in for his mug shot.  A little instant justice, never enough until forgiveness can join in, but perhaps enough for the moment.

It is an entirely different matter when you know it’s happening and you run out an instant too late to find only air.  Oh, there may be clues, shoe prints in the soil, freshly watered soil for just this reason, images on wildlife cameras, grainy video of a real live person, a glimpse of a dark figure rounding the neighbor’s house, foot trails worn into berms behind your house that can be seen from outer space on Google maps, showing trails that were never there before.  Of course let’s not forget the scratching, knocking, and banging on the windows, or punching in numbers on the front door key code pad.

In our case a glimpse or physical evidence of Morgan’s stalker was rare, maybe one in every tenth instance, and never even coming close to her stalker being caught.  We were left with just the knowledge that he was just there.  Proof that your experience tells you – this was from her stalker.  He was right there, not too long ago.  And if you call in law enforcement and nothing improves, and it becomes basically the same thing, except instead of the two of us, there were now one, or two deputies alongside of us, standing there, right where he was, not too long ago.  What are the chances you are going to catch him?  When this is what happens every time, the chances are very slim.

There are jewelry thieves that can scale a building to a balcony, and gain entrance without a noise.  They can defeat the elaborate security system, break into the safe, and exit with the goods, leaving only a safe door half-open, and not any other sign that they were there.

And there are those that will trip, and crash to the ground over paint cans in the garage, causing an intense clatter, knocking themselves unconscious in the process.  There are all levels of skills in stalking, and stalkers, and be realistic about yours – really realistic.  There is the stalker’s skill level vs. your skill level.  And there also is your law enforcement’s skill level vs. the stalker’s.  Not to be insulting or condescending, just take the time to be aware, it matters.

Sadly over the last year, and a half there have been few methods that I’ve seen succeed very often.  Easily the most successful is an array of wildlife cameras, 4 or more, usually six.  They can be wi-fi enabled or not.  Be aware that the time to first exposure varies with brands and models.  Five seconds may be the best you can find, but it is a long amount of time.  Our oldest grandson could pretty much cover our lot from back to front in five seconds.  You can compensate for the slow first image times by using more cameras.  We never had more than two cameras up at one time, four if you count the Sheriff’s two.  It was not enough.  We had two images in three months, and the Sheriffs had none.

The wildlife camera images will not be the best, not prom night pictures by any stretch of he imagination.  The images will have to be circulated to as many people as you can get to see them.  It sounds amazing to me, but if you look at instances where an almost blurry picture is circulated openly, someone recognizes who it is in the image.  A police department in a large city back east claims they have a 75% success rate with video surveillance images openly circulated to everyone.

Next is more of an idea, because we never tried it, but it seems logical.  Where our video surveillance cameras were all mounted on our house, and aimed to cover an area along the house, Steve believes that it would have been better if we had gotten permission, and mounted every camera on a neighbor’s house, trained on one side, at most, of our house, ground to top of roof, 24/7.

Morgan’s stalker was a highly skilled hunter.  Absolutely nothing wrong with hunting, but a highly skilled hunter possesses a skill set of concealment, stealth and knowledge that is formidable to counter.  There is a famous FBI profiler that is of the opinion that if he had a set of suspects for a serial killing, and one was a trophy hunter, that would be his first suspect.  This might also be because the serial killer he brought to justice lived in Alaska and had developed the pattern, or signature, of taking a women into the woods, releasing her, and then hunting her down like an animal.  The theme of many horror movies and TV shows about crime – certainly not representative of the hunters in the world, far from it, just one man using a finely tuned skill set, and knowledge for all the wrong reasons.

On the day Morgan’s body was found it was declared a mystery by law enforcement.  Rule number one of death scene investigation is that you must assume it is a homicide until proven otherwise.  One and a half years later there are twenty unexplainable facts that point to an intruder in her room that night.  Yet the Sheriff’s Department found no sign of forced entry on day one, and were completely satisfied with that. Why?

On the day Morgan died we did not realize there was much of anything wrong with her room.  It was, quite simply, the last thing on our minds.  Very obvious unexplainable facts came readily, within days after the crime scene tape was down.  Others took an evening, with a really sharp investigator, who was experienced with putting together all the facts of a particular case.  Steve and I were never asked a single question about Morgan’s room on day one of her investigation, as it turned out the only day of the investigation, so of course there was not much information assembled about her death.

And these twenty pieces are just the crime scene evidence.  There are also eight pieces of forensic facts relating to Morgan’s case, which are completely backward from what is known by the scientific community, also pointing to an intruder.  When they are testified to and cross-examined, I feel very strongly as to what the outcome will be.  And it is so hard, because as the wheels of justice turn their slow turn, I am very anxious for that moment to come sooner rather than later.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, catching your stalker is the focus here.  There is one thing stalkers almost can’t stop themselves from doing, they stalk and they will return to the same place over, and over again.  Carrying with them an odd, almost unexplainable certainty they will not be caught.  And guess what?  Far too many times they are right about that, about not being caught.

An excellent expert on stalking correctly points out that “you know the place where the crime will be committed,” “you know who the crime will be committed against,” “Once you have a suspect, you must act, quickly.”

Depending on whose numbers you take, in one out of five stalkings there will be violence against the victim, and in one out of ten there will be injuries.  Fatal injuries are next up.  But why?  When there is a suspect, and you know where, and you know who, it does not make sense that anything fatal should happen, except very rarely.  But that is not how it works out.  Extremely sad, but also true.

It is our reality, and the reality for so many stalking victims that they live an end that should not have had to happen, but they are not given the choice.  Can awareness alone improve the odds?  Of course, but I have an idea that three things are needed…awareness, plus protocol, plus full employment of the law.  Stalking needs to be taken seriously – by everyone, especially law enforcement.

Experience tells me that catching the stalker is so important.  Otherwise the end is a wound that may suddenly reopen someday.  Be aware of this.  Morgan chose not to run, because her stalker could just as easily have followed her, and then she would be forever looking over her shoulder in fear.  Morgan decided to stay, that was not the problem.  A lack of awareness, protocol, and full employment of the law was the problem.  Both before her death, and after.

This started out as an idea or two on how to catch your stalker, and I have only given you one or two really good ideas on how to do that – there are many more.  What I want to also give you is the awareness that your stalker must be caught, and preferably not by you.  Stalkers rarely stop stalking.  In Morgan’s memory I want people to more aware of the true dangers of stalking.  I want to turn the tables on stalkers with protocols that have proven to be effective against stalkers, and all of the laws enacted to prevent these tragedies used to their fullest.  How else do we expect to catch your stalker?

65 thoughts on “An idea or two about how to catch your #stalker…

  1. I have an unknown stalking. I am sorry for Morgan and you. This person has hurt my family and torn us apart. This perosn got into my home and put a drug into something i consumed and raped me. I live in fear now. I am isolated. I appreciate your telling the truth that she stayed. I don’t want to stay but I don’t want to run any more. Our local police have not been suportive. An officer on the force has an issue with me and I feel there is more to this than an unknown. Thank you again for sharing your information.

    • Val email me through this website if you want to talk – I may be able to give you some resources in your area that you can use. I am so sorry for what you have and are still going through. Law enforcement should always be supportive, and in most places it has been written in to the law that they should help you write up the report as well. Please let me know if I can help you in any way. Thanks for sharing your story – I know it is very painful.

      • First thing to do is to drive down to the main police station and tell them to give you the form papers so that you can put down in your own words everything that happened so far and write how unsafe this has made you feel, or fear for your life and submit it. Write one detailed report for every Real event.

        Next go buy a few warning stickers that says “no solicitation, no tresspassing, and danger beyond this point signs.” Put the danger stickers on the backyard fence, no tresspassing and no solicitation somewhere easily seen and noticeable. Give no reasonable excuses for that person to be prowling around your house. Set up surveilance or fake cameras if on a budget.

        3rd build a hidden defense zone. Booby trap your outside perimeters. Get Dna samples.

        Supplies you’ll need:
        Packs of sharp sewing needles
        Strong sewing thread
        Vecro strips the length of backyard fence entrance.
        Nails and hammer

        Sew the needles looping with the threads a few loops into the velcro strips allow half of the needle to extende beyond the velcro, space out needles 1/4 inch, 1/2 inch apart. Line up the needle points inside the top edges of your back fences. Nail the velcro strip with the hammer along the fences. Make sure the needles aren’t that noticeable but sticking out a bit beyond the edge of fence so that if someone reaches over to hop your fence, open your gate, the sharp stab will be their first warning. Make sure needles are not movable. Check for blood everyday. You may see many fuzz balls from squirrels etc. I caught/ poked a person because animals don’t get angry and yank out needles to scratch take needle revenge on my car paint. Make sure to let family know its there.
        Call the non-emergency # to Log every suspicious circumstances however insignificant. Tell neighbors to be on the lookout for suspicious people lurking during the day, log car model, license #, color, etc with you or non-emergency. Neighbors will be your witness later on so try to get as many witnesses as possible. I called the non-emergency # so many time to report the same vehicle following me, around my street, guy driving same car license walking up to my door step, I called neighbors cellphones to confirm what was happening outside my house. I lived at the same house for over a decade but only talked to neighbors when I was stalked. Non-emergency told me to call 911 after they seen so many logs of calls. Its a crime to tresspass. They can not make arrest on suspicion; however, a detective may read your personal written statements (mine was 2pages long), refer it to a district attorney, and the judge can order his arrest, punishment.
        The officer in my city police office had initially belittled my stalking incidents because I haven’t been harmed or haven’t had personal interactions, yet. I thought about in this way, someone unknown vandalised my property(i dont know who), weird cars are pulling out fast(burning rubber) from no where like they are rushing to go places but don’t want to pass my slow car up at a green light when their lane is perfectly open, staying on my blind side, cars in front are hesitating to drive when I brake From behind. And this officer is suggesting that we need to have contact before arrest can be made. I wasn’t there to argue with him, I was there to make a record of what had happened just in case one day someone open my file and investigate. I felt discourage as he pointed to a stack of folders and told me, “You see that stack over there?” I looked, but did not respond. He then says, “In those files are reports of people who had been shot, hurt, hospitalized, murdered, some we know who done it, but still haven’t got the manpower to go look for them. So Good Luck getting a detective to investigate your case.” I was very shocked to say the least but thought clearly about it and said, “I am still alive. You can still do something to help me.” And “In case, I should die, people will hopefully see this report and know what had happened.” I think he may have been a supporter in my case in the end. I don’t know but I got a detective in 2 months and a DA With conviction of stalking.

    • My sister has heard banging on her window and we put ropes in front of her window and we think they were cut in half do u have any ideas on how to catch the person outside my sisters window

      • Sierra,

        So sorry you are dealing with that. If you mount a digital wildlife camera up high pointing at her window you may be able to catch a picture of the actual person doing this. One victim that had contacted me immediately called the police to report her stalker and the police in her city hung 5 of their own wildlife cameras up around her house and the next morning they had a clear picture of her stalker and they arrested him…it was her ex-husband and she had had a protection order against him. Another thing you can add for a relatively low price is a battery operated motion alarm that you can set outside the window that will ring inside the house if anyone (or a large enough animal) gets close to the window. Then you will be alerted. But always call the police and report EVERY SINGLE incident so you will start a file with them. Good luck.

    • I don’t know but I’ll check – thanks for the heads-up hopefully others will read on here about your F.Y.I.

      • Toni I also thought of you when Dr Drew was on last night. he is on HLN…otherwise known as the Jodi Arias channel until very recently. Jodi was a stalker who killed, too. 🙁

    • I must say reading this article has touched me dedeeply I’ve lived through so much of the same thing it began 4 years ago when a nafhbor moved into the house across our lake but it’s difficult to prove and the little prove I’ve gotten over 4 years isn’t enough according to the cops and people close to me merely say who would invest such time effort impossible so to this day I love through it and prey every day it will one day stop

      • I am so sorry Colleen. The people that wonder out loud who would invest such time and effort to STALK someone should educate themselves about the realities of stalkers. It’s like years ago when people used to say such horrible and wrong this about victims of rape…victims are victims and these criminals are the ones breaking the law and law enforcement and other family, neighbors, friends, co-workers, teachers, everyone needs to become educated about stalking and what it entails and how to help you. You can probably print out some pages off the links at http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org/resources

        Good luck and I pray you stay safe.

  2. I have to say from personal experience, not all parents care about their children. There are some violently abusive and wickedly evil parents in this world and I have those parents. Parents so evil, I wish my mom would have aborted me.

    My parents love my stalker. They think he is the great one and I am the mentally ill. My parents love, participating in terrorizing my life, destroying it and sabotaging it beyond comprehension.

    My parents think it is ok, for men and women to abuse me everyday. They get great joy from it. My parents think like muslims, that women should be sold to men and the men get to own and abuse them. They get to abuse them, while they do whatever they want.

    Our world is a mess, because of these kind of parents. These kind of parents need to be behind bars, for the rest of their lives. If parents were held accountable for the abuse done to their children, this world might get better.

    The man stalking and terrorizing my life, is the most entitled man on this earth. The world loves him, and he will never have to be accountable for his violent ways. Justice, I will believe in our justice system, the day he and my father are held accountable for their evil actions.

    I need to vent, because what my parents did to my life and let a muslim man from Iran do, is horrific. It is like those girls that were kidnapped for ten years and locked up. But I have been locked up, in the outside world, told how mentally ill I am, what a loser I am, while they are destroy my life behind my back like the greatest cowards that live.

    Insanity is having the parents I have. It is the greatest nightmare you could ever imagine. A nightmare that will probably never end. My parents might think a man gets to destroy my life. But no man or woman gets to destroy my life for any reason, ever. I know my stalker comes to this blog. He is a control freak, who thinks he owns me and he does not and never will.

  3. Hi, First I would like to say that not only does my heart cry for you it bleeds. I am a 39 year old mother of three. When I was 18 I had a stalker. At that time very little was know about them and I received very little help from the police. Thankfully a close friend of the family was a state trooper and gave me good advice. He is also a hunter and understood how the guy was getting away with it for so long. The night before my wedding a year later would be when we finally found out who it was. I had been warned by my friend that things would get more dangerous closer to the wedding. I was surround by family and friends the last few weeks and he became so frustrated he called me. It was an ex boyfriend. He claimed he was just calling out of the blue. To strange for me, so I told my friend and he found out where he lived. Sure enough he had rented a place crosses the woods from my parents house and with a scope he could watch me. My friend risked his job for me by confronting the guy while I was on my honeymoon. He also talked to the guys landlord and found out he was way behind on rent. When the landlord found out what he had been doing he evicted him. I was terrified when I came back from my honeymoon. My husband and I moved into our own home a couple weeks later. The week after that I stopped for gas and he drove up. He tried to talk to me as if nothing had happened. I just lost it. I would not advise anyone to do what I did. I didn’t think about the danger at the time. I started carrying a gun. After a few times of him following me i just couldn’t take it anymore. At a stop sign I jumped out of my car and ran back to his. I pointed the pistol at him and said that I would kill him if he didn’t stop. I told him I would rather die than live that way but I would make darn sure he would go with me. It worked for me but I believe it did only because I believe I was his first victim. About 6 years later he was arrest for following an ex girlfriend and raping her. Since my stalking I have talked with many other people about it. One advice I would give is to put up no trespassing signs. They can automatically be arrested for being on your property without your permission. That really just starts getting their name in the system. The wildlife cameras are great, also when putting up the motion cameras if possible put them in a wooden box were the lens can catch the imagine. Its harder for them to break them that way. Last but defiantly not least, almost all stalkers enter the victims home. A hidden nanny cam system can catch him inside with great video. These can be monitored from a different location so as soon as he enters the house the police can be called. This is how a friend of mine caught her stalker. Another friend of mine had just had a baby and was given a system as a gift and it dawned on me that it could help my other friend. One week after we set it up. We made sure it was know she would be out of town for the weekend. We watched from my house. The police worked with us so they wouldn’t come in with sirens and lights. The second night she was at my place he entered her house. He was caught and has been found guilty. I am truly sorry for your loss. You will always be in my prayers.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story – I think after you have been through something like this, and you know what worked for you, it is so wonderful to share with others going through it – we had no idea when Morgan’s stalking started, and I wish now we had heard anything about other people going through this so we would have known what to do right away.

      We were told so many other stories after about a month into her stalking by other stalking victims, but none of those really had good solutions – their stalkings had lasted for years. After Morgan was murdered then we were given information that would have really helped us make different choices at the time, so now that is what I would like to see happen – people that have gone through this before sharing their experiences, and from that hopefully enough good solutions.

        • I am so very sorry that you are going through this horrible ordeal…that is exactly what stalkers are – elusive. Praying your stalker gets caught. Thank you so much for your kind words.

    • What kind of system did you use? I too am 3 years into dealing with a persistent stalker. I have moved and still he finds me. I called police just today – no help.
      I am tired, stressed and at a breaking point. This guy is good he has avoided cameras, by passed ADT, etc..

        • I am going through the same thing right now, have four cameras and sensor lights and still haven;t been able to get a photo. The alarms are going off and have this tracked. It’s frustrating and nerve racking. I saw someone at my window almost a month ago now with a flashlight in hand around 5am and almost every day between 4am and when the sun rises the alarms and cameras are being activated. Do you have any other suggestions? I have 2 very noisy dogs that are by my feet 24/7 in the house, but know it’s not enough.

          • I am so very sorry that you are going through this – it is very scary and shouldn’t be taken lightly, so I am happy that you are being proactive. This is very serious – but in order to have someone stopped and arrested for stalking, you will have to id him/her to law enforcement and/or someone needs to see him in the act, or his/her picture needs to be caught on camera. Compiling evidence (as in a detailed timeline), as well reporting incidents to the police EVERY time will help build a solid case against whomever is doing this and will help the police take it seriously. Please remember to ALWAYS call and make a report to the police and ALWAYS get the officers names and the incident number, a copy of their report of the incident and give them your timeline and description of the incident. This is extremely important in order to proceed someday with a case and needed at times to get a court ordered protection order. Never confront your stalker, but always, always keep a timeline of the events and call the police EVERY single time something happens and have them come and take a report. You should look up, read and understand your state laws on stalking, try calling your state or local victims assistance program and ask for suggestions…tell them your whole story. As far as safety tips here are some, but always trust your intuition

            My first suggestion would be to definitely get a digital wildlife camera and if possible mount it up high pointing at wherever seems to be where you home is most likely approached from, if you can get more than one and mount every one up high facing all access into the house that would be even better. Hang them up high enough so they can not be knocked down, and make sure it is aimed so as to catch his/her facial features, i.e. pointing in the direction that he/she will be walking up to. There are Wifi enabled wildlife cameras as well. They all have a lag between when the camera detects motion until when it shoots the picture so read up on what the lag is on your cameras…ours was 8 seconds but I know that the newer cameras have a shorter time period which is good. These cameras along with battery operated motion alarms right by where the camera is mounted to notify you when something was possibly caught on the camera will help. One of the stalking victims that contacted us early on from Colorado Springs said the police there offered to put up those type of wildlife cameras around her house in order to catch the stalker, and on the very first night they caught enough pictures of him in order to make an arrest and then a conviction. This could involve you requesting that your police department put up these type of cameras, besides the ones that you are putting up. Another woman had neighbors lend her and her family their wildlife cameras because just like in your case no one could figure out who it could be and sure enough one of the cameras caught a clear picture in the middle of the night and it was shockingly a female neighbor that was stalking that family. The police made an arrest.

            Put bars in any sliding glass doors or windows, deadbolts on all doors that lead into your house, even from the garbage. make sure the deadbolts are secured with screws at least two inches long. Always (even when not home) keep the door from the garage into your house locked. Trim bushes and trees around your home to eliminate or reduce hiding places (make sure your stalker can not gain access to your roof by climbing up a tree or fence), Install locks on bedroom doors, install panoramic peepholes on entry doors, Keep a cellular phone inside your home (in case phone lines are cut), peer inside and underneath car before entering, drive with your doors locked at all times, if the stalker somehow get inside the car with you, avoid driving anywhere. If possible, throw the keys as far away as you can. Also, remember to tell all neighbors, co-workers, friends, schoolmates, etc. about what is going on and if you get a description of the perpetrator give them all his description so they can all be on the look out for you.

            Keep pepper spray (or some other means of protection) on you at all times. I’m sure you are in good shape to defend yourself and taking a self defense class is always an excellent idea too, Morgan wanted to take one with me and we were supposed to start in December, but it was too late.

            When you are out in public vary your daily routine. Tell only trusted individuals about your future plans. Tell companions that you are being stalked. Avoid isolated places such as alleyways, restrooms, etc.

            My next suggestion is to get motion detector flood lights and mount them on any side of entry to your house…doors, windows, sliders, etc. They can be plugged in to any exterior plugs that you might have or, you can purchase solar motion flood lights as low as $33 each on sale on Amazon, and I believe there are also lights that are solar, but can be plugged in as well. These can help to deter a stalker from lingering close to your house as he/her will be illuminated. And what they will do create a much clearer view of who the stalker is – either one of your neighbor might get a good description of him/her or one of you will get a clearer picture of exactly who he/she is. And last, when you do put up the outdoor wildlife cameras the motion lights will help the picture to be even more revealing.

            Because even with all our preventive measures to keep Morgan’s stalker out of our house her stalker did get in, I would also suggest that you may consider purchasing a small bedroom door alarm for each of your bedroom doors. Then if somehow the stalker does get in your house while you are sleeping and opens one of the doors the alarm will go off and you will all hear it and be able to respond. We had nothing like this in our home and this might have made all the difference for Morgan.

            Always make sure your car is locked so they can’t use your automatic garage door opener. Also if you have an alarm in your car you can keep your key fob next to your bed and if you hear something you can push the alarm button and the noise may scare them off.

            The National Center for Victims of Crime (formerly known as the National Victim Center) provides referrals and advocacy services to victims through its toll-free national hotline. Through the hotline, victims are referred to the nearest, appropriate services in their community, including crisis intervention, assistance with the criminal justice process, and counseling and support groups. The National Center publishes bulletins on a number of topics, including domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking.

            They have excellent information on stalking, including stalking behavior logs (you can use this as template for your timeline), safety plan guidelines, and a complete handbook for victims, contact the National Center for Victims of Crime Stalking Resource Center online at http://www.ncvc.org, call 1-800-FYI-CALL (M-F 8:30 AM – 8:30 PM EST), or e-mail gethelp@ncvc.org
            http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center

            Even though stalking is pervasive and affects the lives of 6.6 million Americans each year, with 75% of victims being women and less than 25% being male, the crime is often overlooked and trivialized – which is what many people do. When in actuality, it is a very serious offense, which often results in physical violence, psychological trauma, and even murder (Stalking Resource Center 2012). No matter what anyone tells you – ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! Here is a good thing to read http://www.wgac.colostate.edu/Data/Sites/1/documents/Resource%20Guides/OWPS%20Guide%20for%20Survivors%20of%20Stalking.pdf

            I am here for you whenever you need me. Contact me anytime if you need suggestions or help with this.

  4. It just makes me cry to imagine what you feel and knowing how hard you tried to keep this from happening. I am so sorry! I found your story while looking for ways to stop what is happening to me and my girls. Of course, the police and other legal resources have been little to no help. The police tell me to get a gun and cameras. Which I have. I also take martial arts in case I need to defend us without a weapon. My stalker has been at it for over a year. He is educated, a hunter and past military/ wartime. The police are leaving it all up to me. Like you, I need to be proactive. I need more advice on how to catch him.

    • Lois have you been able to get a copy of the Federal stalking laws as well as your individual state laws? Please ALWAYS call your local law enforcement on every incident of stalking and insist on getting a copy EVERYTIME of their report for your file…read your state laws about victims rights in a stalking case and if local law enforcement doesn’t do what they are supposed to do then go up the chain of command to the District Attorney’s office – don’t give up insist on getting them to help you.

      Also, get a protection order through law enforcement. Since you know who your stalker is that is really important because if he breaks that order and is anywhere close to you and you report him he will be arrested. Another really important thing is to tell everyone – neighbors, friends, co-workers, your children’s school, because the more eyes and ears on the ground will help keep you and your children safer. I wish I could help more, and I will email you with other ideas as well as links to organizations that could possibly help. I also hope others ready your comment along with my answer to you will leave comments with ideas to help you as well. I have learned so much over the past 2 years from other victims and survivors of stalking. Hang in there and keep safe.

      The one thing I wish to tell everyone today is:
      I understand that people don’t want to see the ugliness in life, but to see it, face it, and do something about it is really the only way to bring the light back into this world…and together we are such a huge force for good!

      • I am so sorry about Morgan my heart goes out to you. I am going through the same thing. As soon as my husband died. All my friends and family abandon me for reason I don’t know. I have called the police 30 times they think I am crazy. I am being forced to sell my home I have spent thousands of dollars on cameras they break them they break every thing I buy. My phone is hacked my house and cars. This the first time I could get on line in a year and I saw your web sight. I need help I am alone. I see some good ideas. I have contacted the FBI local police and sheriffs no one will believe me or help me. I am a person that only helps people all the time. I don’t understand this type of behavior. They have taken my life. I can’t work I am been scared to go out side. My dog has been scared for over a year. They force me to spend all my money on things I need to help me catch them. Then they steal it or break it. I sleep with my keys my wallet I never see them I hear them but I can’t see them. I just bought security system they still get in. I am almost broke. Two days ago they took my keys to all my locks and my cars. I am so scared this is a living nightmare. No one deserves this kind of treatment.

        • Please realize that when you contact local law they have most likely heard about stalking before and know it certainly can be happening, they just might not fully acknowledge what is happening. Some agencies are very progressive on stalking and do have a good track record of enforcing laws against it. It does not sound like you have been to your District Attorneys office yet, contact someone there and schedule an appointment, face-to-face, find out all you can about the laws that are in place in your state to protect you, and what they can do to help. No guarantees it will help but some DA’s do understand this threat and take it seriously. It is a fight to take back your life and any assistance you can get is a big help.

        • Georgeanne it may also be time for you to contact the Victim’s Address Confidentiality Program in your state. You can type that in to the search bar on your Internet followed by “the name of your state” and it should come up with that link. Call the number and explain, in detail what is happening to you, tell them you want to move to a safe house and have all your information suppressed so your tormentors can not find you. They can also give you advice and information about a possible safe house program in your area that you can also contact. What you are going through is extremely frightening as well as serious and one way or another you need to find someone that can help you. Do no give up – there are people out there that want to help.

          When you fear that you are in immediate danger you need to get out of that house and go stay at a friends house until you can find an agency that can get you into a safe house. Don’t let people make you feel like you are not telling the truth…this is your life…your fear is real…and you need to be kept safe. There are victim’s assistance programs in most states so please just keep calling and telling EVERYONE your story until someone takes it seriously and gives you some good options.

          Stay strong – I am so sorry this horrible thing is happening to you!

  5. I am so sorry for your loss. My daught is almost 18 and has been stalked for approximately three years. The unknown guy watched from outside the livingroom window. Lots of friends saw him standing in the front yard. When he waited in the garage for her to come out, we locked things better and put up cameras. After months of no known activity, she put her employer on facebook. Two days later she was followed home from work at night throu several towns until she made four lefts in our neighborhood. Four days later, today, the nightmares andcwaking with a self inflicted scratched face had stopped. Today the car she drives had the console open and her wallet gone. I don’t see what good her license is to him, but i don’t think itcwas a random spare change seeker. My mechanic neighbor checked my oil and is pretty sure he remembers me locking the car. The police are never any help. This time they said they, “don’t see what they can write about this. Obviously someone had a key.” My mechanic says not. My motion cameras were down part of the night and she needs to park farther into the driveway. People act like we’re just paranoid. I’m debating driving several towns away late tonight to foll8w her home. He will probably make her give up her job she loves…if she survives that long. What can we do besides cameras? We don’t have the money for a p.i. Thecworry and sense of responsibilty is overwhelming. Blessings.

    • First of all I want to tell you that my heart goes out to your daughter, and your whole family – this is such a horrible thing to go through, and as a mom I know that all you want is answers about how to protect your daughter…we all would, that’s all I wanted while Morgan’s stalking was happening. My gut told me that if we did not catch Morgan’s stalker he would eventually harm her (the psychological harm was already happening to not only Morgan, but our whole family). I was terrified that what we were doing to protect her would not be enough, and it wasn’t.

      Please know this – it doesn’t matter if people believe you or not. So many people are uninformed or ignorant to the seriousness of stalking. That is the biggest reason to raise awareness. So it’s up to you to keep an accurate timeline of EVERY incident. Call in EVERY incident. This will create a file with law enforcement. After EVERY incident request a copy of that incident report, and keep it in your file along with your timeline. We did not do this step. We trusted our sheriffs to do the right thing, and they did not. Make sure the incident report actually says what happened, and look to see what they called it, ”harassment”, “criminal trespassing”, Suspicious Event”, “Directed Patrol”, or “Follow Up.” This is to build a record/future case against the stalker. You must be forceful with the police and tell them you have seen the stalker, you do not know the stalker, and that you are all fearful for your lives. Explain to them exactly how you explained to me, about all of your fears for your daughter’s safety, all the steps you are taking to protect yourselves, and finally let them know that you are all extremely fearful- I know that emotionally this is really hard, but it is essential that you tell them everything. Look up the stalking laws in your state and read them – quote them back to the police if they are not understanding what they should be doing to take you seriously. Another part of this, which I did not know when we were going through the 4 months of Morgan’s stalking, is that you can also go meet with your District Attorney and tell them how serious this is and ask them to intervene on your behalf. Go up the chain of command! If for some reason they refuse to give your daughter a protective order, then I would go speak with a lawyer. My suggestion would be to look up in your area the free victims assistance program or possibly call the central office in your state and they can direct you to free legal advise on obtaining a restraining order. The victims advocates are usually very good, and can help with so many things.

      Look up the stalking laws in your state. If the police do not respond to your calls or don’t seem to want to help go straight to the District Attorneys office and tell them EXACTLY everything that has been happening, for how long it’s been happening, others that have seen the stalker, how fearful and distraught your daughter and family are. If you know who this person is that is stalking your daughter insist that the District Attorney give you a court ordered protection order for your daughter. I know it’s just a piece of paper and most likely will not stop her stalker, but if her stalker shows up where she is he can be arrested, which is a good thing. Also find out if they have made your daughter’s case into a felony stalking case yet (it should be) and if so write down the case number. Always get the officer’s cards when they come to investigate EVERY incident, and keep the cards in your file.

      I would also consider finding your daughter a really good therapist. If your insurance doesn’t cover it then speak with the victims advocates in your area – they are usually through the District Attorney’s office so you can start there. I would suggest she start to go right away, this could possibly help her with the stress she is experiencing. I had to go for the first time just before Morgan’s murder because I was so upset, and scared, and did not know what I could do to keep Morgan safe, I just wish I had started going to her sooner. She was helping me come up with new ideas to keep Morgan safe – if it wasn’t for my wonderful therapist I don’t think I could have survived what came shortly afterwards when Morgan died. Steve and I went to her weekly for 2 years after Morgan’s murder and I truly believe she kept us together, and strong enough to continue this fight for justice. If you find a really good therapist it will help her put things in perspective, and help her cope with the stress and make the correct decisions, without being reactionary. We all become reactionary when under extreme stress.

      Have you reported the stolen wallet to the police yet? If not please do it now and get a copy of the report. My next suggestion is to get motion detector flood lights, and mount them on any side of entry to your house, doors, windows, sliders, etc. They can be plugged in to any exterior plugs that you might have or, you can purchase solar motion flood lights as low as $33 each on sale on Amazon, and I believe there are also lights that are solar, but can be plugged in as well. These usually help to deter a stalker from lingering close to your house as he will be illuminated – although not all stalkers will be deterred. But what they will do is create a much clearer view of who the stalker is – either one of your neighbors might get a good description of him, or one of you guys will get a clearer picture of exactly who he is. And last, when you do put up the outdoor wildlife cameras the motion lights will help the picture to be even more revealing.

      As far as mounting your cameras put at least one in the area that the stalker shows up the most. Hang it up high enough so he can not knock it down, and make sure it is aimed so as to catch his facial features, i.e. pointing in the direction that he will be walking up to. There are Wifi enabled wildlife cameras as well. They all have a lag between when the camera detects motion until when it shoots the picture so read up on what the lag time is on your camera – ours was 8 seconds, but I know that the newer cameras have a shorter time period, which is good. One of the stalking victims that contacted us early on from Colorado Springs said the police there offered to put up those type of wildlife cameras around her house in order to catch the stalker, and on the very first night they caught enough pictures of him in order to make an arrest and then a conviction. This could involve you requesting that your police department put up these type of cameras, besides the ones that you are putting up.

      Because even with all our preventive measures to keep Morgan’s stalker out of the house her stalker did get in, I would also suggest that each one of you purchase a small bedroom door alarm for each of your bedroom doors. Then if somehow the stalker does get in your house while you are sleeping and opens one of the doors the alarm will go off and you will all hear it, and be able to respond. We had nothing like this in our home, and this might have made all the difference for Morgan. Here is one example:
      http://www.amazon.com/GE-Personal-Security-Door-Alarm/dp/B0000YNR4M but there are many others on the market as well.

      In the meantime besides what I have suggested above I would also contact:

      The National Center for Victims of Crime (formerly known as the National Victim Center) provides referrals and advocacy services to victims through its toll-free national hotline. Through the hotline, victims are referred to the nearest, appropriate services in their community, including crisis intervention, assistance with the criminal justice process, and counseling and support groups. The National Center publishes bulletins on a number of topics, including domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking.

      They have excellent information on stalking, including stalking behavior logs, safety plan guidelines, and a complete handbook for victims, contact the National Center for Victims of Crime Stalking Resource Center online at http://www.ncvc.org, call 1-800-FYI-CALL (M-F 8:30 AM – 8:30 PM EST), or e-mail gethelp@ncvc.org
      http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center

      Good luck and please let me know how you are all doing. Also, please let me know if you need me to make any calls that you would like me to make on your behalf or any other questions that I may help you with. I will continue to do my best to make necessary connections in order to make the changes that are so desperately needed when it comes to taking stalking seriously, and getting help to the victims of stalking.

      Take care!

      Love and light,

      Toni

      Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are – Benjamin Franklin

      • HI, I am a stalking victim of the most unusual predator you have ever heard of or will hear of in your whole life, because it is so bazaar. This is a man who does the strangest things ever. I need help. It’s been 30 years, he’s vowed to never leave me alone. I have no help, police are a joke. Please contact me, I need to talk to you. Thank you. I feel so sorry for your loss!!!!!!! It ‘s just torture, I’m so sorry!

        • I am so very sorry that you have been going through this horrible ordeal for 30 years!!! Please contact me through this website if you would like to send me details about the state you live in and the details about your case. All state laws about stalking are different and knowing exactly what your state laws are is very important. You can also look them up yourself at https://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/stalking-laws/criminal-stalking-laws-by-state

          I can then direct you to organizations within your state that may be able to help you. Do you have a victim’s advocate yet? Have you been able to get a restraining order and if so has he broken it? You may need to contact the Victim’s Address Confidentiality Program in your state and discuss with them what options are open to you.

          If you are in immediate danger you need to call the police (you should always call on every incident and report it even if you think they are not helping you – it will help to build a case against your stalker), and then get to a safe house. Always trust your instincts. Hoping you are able to stay safe & strong…let me know if I can help you to get assistance.

  6. This is by far the best article I have found.

    I am so so very sorry for your loss of Morgan.

    It is totally amazing what you have done to turn such a tragedy into something so profoundly pro active and helpful. May you gain strength as you continue to carry on.
    God Bless

    • Thank you so very much Donna. It makes me feel so happy inside when I know the things I write help someone. Lot’s more to do before my journey is over and I pray every day for continual strength…I know people like you encourage me to keep going in the right direction. Blessings!

  7. Just read your story.I am so sorry for your loss. My daughter has been a victim of online stalking. And today i recieved 4 texed messages from that stalker or stalkers.She changed her cell number but she is still getting e mails from this person. Now they or he is ,is sending me threating text messages about my daughter. We have already been to the police. And i am going to go talk to a detective in the morning. They have not been able to find this person as of yet. She being away in College now,keeps me worried because i cannot see her. The campus police have been alerted to this matter. Any advice anyone?

    • Thank you Karen. I am sorry for what you and your daughter are going through! Cyber-stalking is a crime and it is serious. I would suggest the following…I am not a lawyer but after working with quite a few cyberstalking victims this is what I would suggest at this time.

      #1 -your police or Sheriff’s department can and should track this person(s) IP address to find out who it is and then call them to tell them to stop. They should give you a case number for your case when you meet with your detective. You should report every incident right when it happens, document every incident, and keep it in a detailed timeline on your computer, along with an external back-up kept off premises. You should ask for and need and want copies of all of their reports for your file.

      #2- I would suggest taking screen shots of all the text messages that you both have received, print them and keep the hard copy, save them on your computer, as well as on an external jump drive that you keep safe somewhere other than your home, then whatever you have give copies of all to the detective and then if nothing happens take it all to your local FBI office in the nearest office, and tell them exactly how this has made you “feel” (if frightened or whatever your feeling tell them) and tell them you want to register a criminal complaint. If the cyber-stalker is stalking over state lines the FBI should be able to get involved.

      #3- the Department of Justice said if these cyber-bullies post any personal information about you online (stuff like your social security number, or something that is not public record) then they have crossed the line and the FBI can get involved so keep that in mind.

      #4- Look online and read what cyber-stalking laws your state has passed. All states are different although you should also look up the current Federal law as well. Here is a good link to read http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/vaw00/cyberstalking_laws.html from Harvard Law and this link shows you which states have individual laws against it – if I were you I would look up the laws in your own state and read exactly what the law says. Sometimes when talking to local law enforcement they are not completely aware of exactly how the law reads, since they don’t come across very many cases like this (although lately it happens more often then anyone wants to admit) and in many cases of cyberstalking you may need to get legal help in order to pursue it in the civil arena.
      #5 Another great resource is http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/search-results?indexCatalogue=stalking%2Dresource%2Dcenter&searchQuery=cyberstalking&wordsMode=0

  8. I believe I am being stalked by somebody I met online, but the worst part is, nobody believes me. I am so sorry about Morgan, but I am sure she was at peace on one fact, that she had such great support through it all from you. The anger you go through when nobody believes you in infuriating! My family is always getting into fights over this, mainly causes by me having an attitude, simply because the stress has become far too much.

    Proof is the hardest part. I will go out, come back home, and discover items have been moved around in my room, but my parents say I’m being silly. But I KNOW they have, because I deliberately arrange my belongings in such a way that I will memorise, and therefor, I am certain that at least on one occasion, a personal letter a friend had written to me had been picked up and read. Plus I see shadows and such out my window late at night, noises, but again, it’s “just my imagination” or “the wind.”

    The scariest incident is when I was texting this guy, the minute I turned off my lights and hop into bed he texts me “Goodnight babe, so good talking to you. Sweet dreams x” Then the following morning, within 30 seconds of me getting up , he texts saying “Good morning babe x” I was afraid, but since he had previously proven to get angry at the drop of a hat, I replied “Morning” keeping it short and sweet. But he then replied “Morning who 😉 ”

    I am sorry for your loss, truthfully.

    • Melanie thank you for your kind words about our loss. I am very sorry you are going through such horrible things. The one thing I try to always tell people is to always listen when someone tells you they think they are being stalked.

      SavingGrace.org says, “It can be difficult for victims to gather evidence of stalking due to the elusive nature of stalking, and therefore can be challenging to prosecute. Victims, therefore, often feel as though they are not being believed – in the midst of being terrorized by someone.”

      To support someone being stalked, first and foremost, believe her. Educate yourself about stalking by visiting the Stalking Resource Center website and by learning about how to get a stalking protective order. Please try to go to some of these websites that educate about stalkers and share the information with your family. Maybe try and hide a camera (nanny cam) or something in your room while away to see if you catch someone moving things around. Bring your cell phone to a cyber specialist to check for any apps that have been put on your phone by your stalker.

      Just remember stalking is very serious. It’s frightening, and I know it’s something you really don’t want to believe is happening when it is, but you need to keep a log, contact law enforcement, educate yourself and do whatever you need to do to keep safe. Good luck – please take care!

        • Good evening Tori,
          I am so sorry for your lost. My prayers go out to you and your family. I thank you for starting a web site like this one that helps so many people.I do have a question, do you have a personal web page that stalkers cannot get on and read the respond..

          • Thank you so much for your kind words. No I do not have a personal webpage. This blog and website were meant to be public in order to reach more people and help as many of them as possible. We do however have a Morgan’s Stalking public Facebook and Twitter page @MorgansStalking where public and private messages can be left as well as on this website if you click on the contact us at the bottom of each webpage…it will automatically send a private email that I will respond to. A lot of people leave comments publicly on this blog so others can read and learn from their experiences, but many more (for obvious reasons if you are a victim of stalking) contact me through the website privately and I get back to every one of them. I try to be a bridge in order to give them any information I know of that may help with their situation. Others also write in with beautiful stories about their feelings. I hope I have answered your question. I will send you a private email that you can respond to if you would like. Thank you for writing in – I appreciate it.

  9. Im being stalked by someone for the past 3years. He took interest in me asking me how long I give my ex. I had just come out of a controlling relationship so was not ready to start with another. I didnt know at the time that giving him hope that if it meant to be we will cross paths later when the time is right was the wrong thing to say because he has been crossing my path for 3years. At first I not think much of it, believed he was letting me know he was around and waiting but after a incident which i now realise is a set up inviting his daughter stay with me by helping someone through church(i didnt know it was his daughter),but considering he drove past the church the first morning I attended gives evidence. She fumigated my home with some kind of substance the day before it due to go on the market. She told lies to church making herself as a victim. Since then the stalking became terrifying. I have told many people but it seems the more i talk about it and spread around what he is doing i get referred to mental health so now i feel forced to keep it quiet. I have had my tyres punctured with nail and screw after listing my exs nail and screw gun on a ebay type website. My privacy was invaded during my stay at a temp accomodation, he was leaving business cards relating to events of my day. Text messages sent to me via friends numbers that dont match my friends nature. I had moved boxes from storage into the temp accomodation and that day got a text with row of boxes. Its creepy stuff. He was also visiting my clients. I eventually had a nervous breakdown but everyone is protecting him because he is very wealthy, and is a celebrity. He invests alot of money into the community. Im considered to have had a mental breakdown. No one listening to me, and the police are useless too because he has informed them of my mental breakdown so im considered as being pyschotic. When i tell the doctors they too tell me ‘im sure its real in your mind’. I had evidence but he had conned my previous neighbours to come reboot my computer after the german girl had been in my house and had done something to my computer’ she also took my phone with the evidence. At the time i didnt realise i would need this evidence because I wasnt aware I was being stalked. I am afraid. Im moving into another rented house and im nervous about it. He has also spread rumours around about me so im looked down by many people. Before all this I was treated like a celebrity. I was getting skype messages by him under alias names. I know it was him because he had wrote ‘ive been waiting for you for a long time’ had asked about me moving to him or him moving to me. I said i would not move my children from school. I had not given personal information to him. He had worked in a place where he had access to my personal information. i have since changed this business to elsewhere. To begin with he left hearts everywhere, knowing my routine. He was following me long distances when i took kids on holiday camping, left a message in my campervan on the table cloth. My son pointed him out at a house that was being built. I was already aware of his veichle being there but when my son pointed him out this really worried him. I believe he has introduced himself at my sons boys club. A personalised plate showed up outside this built house with ‘cubscout’ He has family members showing up in my kids school. A woman telling me she particularly interested in this girls ability to dance. That is my daughter she was referring too. Another man I believe is his brother was in the audience when my daughter was leader of class dance because she is cheographer. They both have a limp in their leg. The german girl had accompanied my children and I in a park while she was with us and this other man also with a limp appeared and just hovered around me. i sensed he wanted to warn me of her or he was part of this nightmare. This man knows I run the beach, and he knew my routine for running the beach. There were messages written on the beach letting me know of my facebook conversations and horrid threatening messages. When i tell people of this they consider me as having mental issues and tell me all this stuff is just co incidental. A stalker engineers coincindences to make you sound crazy. Many people who were once my friends are suggesting I leave my hometown and another said i should change my car because its being marked. My car and myself are frequentley stared at. i feel so alone and isolated. Im doing my best to hold my head up and ignore people looking at me. I had a text message that was very biblical from a friend who has never in 15years sent me such messages. Before the horrid stuff started happening the end of the message read ‘man will destroy you’. I went to the police to tell them of the suspected person. Now im apprehensive about going to another police department. Its bad enough having a stalker. He also writes messages on a blackboard on the main road. I know its him because the same veichle that passed the church i saw parked outside where the signs are. Ive read some of these stories. For now its subsided. im worried reading that a stalker will continue stalking.

    • Alexia I am so sorry this has been happening to you – it’s horrible. Please know that there are people that will listen to you and believe you. I know it’s hard, but you really need to start to document every incident. And you also need to call the police (whether you think they believe you or not) every single time something happens. Make sure they write a report, and ask for a copy of every report…keep them in a file in a safe place. If you feel you need to move for your safety, and the safety of your children call your state’s Victims Address Confidentiality Program and explain to them about what is happening, how you feel and get their suggestions and information about the program to see if that might be another layer of protection for you – the program is not only for victims of domestic violence, but for stalking victims as well.

      When you are a victim of stalking it is common for the stalker to try to pretend they are the victim, and you are just crazy – it happens in a lot of cases. Please know it’s not your fault that your stalker chose you – it’s because of the stalker, not you.

      Please know that “ignoring” a stalker never works. Never confront a stalker but always, always keep a timeline of the events and call the police EVERY single time something happens and have them come and take a report. This is VERY important to build a case and get your stalker arrested before something very dangerous happens. The feelings you have about being vulnerable, your anxiety, and the loss of control of your life are very common. A lot of times when you contact the police and they establish felony stalking (after a certain criteria is met) then you can ask them if “they” can mount and maintain outdoor wildlife cameras. Also, if you are a stalking victim within the city or county you can apply for victim’s assistance and they may pay for a therapist that can help you deal with the stress. Either way you should look up, read and understand your state laws (all states are different) on stalking, you should call the state or local victims assistance program and ask for suggestions…tell them your whole story. As far as safety tips here are a few, but always trust your intuition:

      Bars in any sliding glass doors or windows, deadbolts on all doors that lead into your house, even from the garbage. make sure the deadbolts are secured with screws at least two inches long Always (even when not home) keep the door from the garage into your house locked. Trim bushes and trees around home to eliminate or reduce hiding places (make sure your stalker can not gain access to your roof by climbing up a tree or fence), Install locks on bedroom doors, install panoramic peepholes on entry doors, Keep a cellular phone inside your home (in case phone lines are cut), consider getting a dog, peer inside and underneath car before entering, drive with your doors locked at all times, if the stalker somehow get inside the car with you, avoid driving anywhere. If possible, throw the keys as far away as you can. Also, remember to tell everyone, all neighbors, (even if you think they don’t believe you – tell them the truth and that you would like them to keep an eye out for anything strange going on at your house), co-workers, friends, your children’s teachers and principal, etc. about what is going on and if you get a description of the perpetrator give them all his description so they can all be on the look out for you. Explain to them that you are worried for your safety and the safety of your children and you need their help.

      Keep pepper spray (or some other means of protection) on you at all times. Consider taking a self defense class.

      When you are out in public vary your daily routine
      Tell only trusted individuals about your future plans
      If you get a restraining order, carry it with you at all times
      Tell companions that you are being stalked
      Avoid isolated places such as alleyways, restrooms, etc.

      Another suggestion is to get motion detector flood lights and mount them on any side of entry to your house – doors, windows, sliders, etc. They can be plugged in to any exterior plugs that you might have or, you can purchase solar motion flood lights as low as $33 each on sale on Amazon, and I believe there are also lights that are solar but can be plugged in as well. These usually help to deter a stalker from lingering close to your house as he will be illuminated, although they do not deter all stalkers. But what they will do create a much clearer view of who the stalker is – either one of your neighbor might get a good description of him or the cameras will get a clearer picture of exactly who he is. And last, when you do put up the outdoor wildlife cameras (if the police won’t do it) the motion lights will help the picture to be even more revealing.

      Because even with all our preventive measures to keep Morgan’s stalker out of the house her stalker did get in, I would also suggest that each one of you (you and your children) have a small bedroom door alarm for each of your bedroom doors. Then if somehow the stalker does get in your house while you are sleeping and opens one of the doors the alarm will go off and you will all hear it and be able to respond. We had nothing like this in our home and this might have made all the difference for Morgan. Here is just one example:
      http://www.amazon.com/GE-Personal-Security-Door-Alarm/dp/B0000YNR4M

      I would also suggest that you go in person to the District Attorney’s office and explain to them that you are in fear for your life (and how emotionally this is affecting you) and you would like to know what they can do to protect you, or what can be done to get this person arrested and put this person away so he can’t hurt you. In the meantime besides what I have suggested above I would also contact:

      The National Center for Victims of Crime (formerly known as the National Victim Center) provides referrals and advocacy services to victims through its toll-free national hotline. Through the hotline, victims are referred to the nearest, appropriate services in their community, including crisis intervention, assistance with the criminal justice process, and counseling and support groups. The National Center publishes bulletins on a number of topics, including domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking.

      They have excellent information on stalking, including stalking behavior logs, safety plan guidelines, and a complete handbook for victims, contact the National Center for Victims of Crime Stalking Resource Center online at http://www.ncvc.org, call 1-800-FYI-CALL (M-F 8:30 AM – 8:30 PM EST), or e-mail gethelp@ncvc.org
      http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center

      Good luck! I am praying for you.

  10. I am currently being stalked. Its been over 4 years now and my ex husband has done everything from broke into my several homes I’ve moved into to steal food out of my fridge and return it ,he has stolen court documents, credit card statement, important mail the list goes on clothes you name it. The last time he entered my home,he signed his signature on my picture in my bedroom but police said it was nothing they could do ” no force entry “.
    Now I have moved again and changed phones and numbers for the 34 time and he has insolated me from everyone I know by befriending them with my son he took in court through various lies. I recently found out he was a volunteer fighter. Go figure. I need some serious help. …I’m fed up

  11. I recently moved and my ex husband has been in my new house I can recall item’s being taken three times already. I am sure he had installed hidden camera and listening devices as this man knows when I come and go daily. My vehicles have caught fire ,always mess up with all the fluids drained out, doors malfunction want slide shut ,panals fall off etc.
    I am constantly going through my house reorganizating but still feel there is things going missing and returned. I’m afraid that he is gonna hurt my child he took but he has already third to make the courts think I’m insane,delusional as he put it and schizophrenia, I have no history of drugs or drinking and this man tried to sabotage my character by saying and trying to make it look as if I wasnt myself a” a clean free healthy woman”
    It goes on and on I’m frustrated, angry, afraid,stressed out and had enough.
    I am seeking help ….this is my final cry but I’m gonna fight with every breath I got if I got to face this man in that way

    • Dianna I am so sorry you are going through this. I will try to give you some suggestions because this is very serious.

      You need to compile & save all evidence in order to have a solid case against him. Keep a log of ALL incidents. Please remember to ALWAYS call your local law enforcement agency (no matter what) and make a report to the police and ALWAYS get the officers names and the incident number, a copy of their report of the incident and give them your timeline and description of the incident. This is extremely important in order to proceed with a case and in order to get a court ordered protection order. A protection order won’t guarantee your stalker will stop, but if the stalker gets within so many feet of you they can legally arrest him which would be a good outcome. This is the best way to get the police and the courts to take this seriously, although they should always take it seriously!

      Never confront your stalker, but always, always keep a timeline of the events and call the police EVERY single time something happens and have them come and take a report. You should look up, read and understand your state laws on stalking, you should call the state or local victims assistance program and ask for suggestions and help…tell them your whole story. As far as safety tips here are some, but always trust your intuition:

      Change the locks on your house, get new keys. Put bars in any sliding glass doors or windows, deadbolts on all doors that lead into your house, even from the garbage. make sure the deadbolts are secured with screws at least two inches long. Always (even when not home) keep the door from the garage into your house locked. Trim bushes and trees around home to eliminate or reduce hiding places (make sure your stalker can not gain access to your roof by climbing up a tree or fence), Install locks on bedroom doors, install panoramic peepholes on entry doors, Keep a cellular phone inside your home (in case phone lines are cut), consider getting a dog, peer inside and underneath car before entering, drive with your doors locked at all times, if the stalker somehow get inside the car with you, avoid driving anywhere. If possible, throw the keys as far away as you can. Also, remember to tell all neighbors, co-workers, friends, schoolmates, etc. about what is going on and if you get a description of the perpetrator give them all his description so they can all be on the look out for you.

      Keep pepper spray (or some other means of protection) on you at all times. When you go to bed at night keep your key fab next to your bed so you can push the button to set off the car alarm if you fear someone is in your house (sometimes the car alarm will scare them off because neighbors come out to see what is happening).

      When you are out in public vary your daily routine
      Tell only trusted individuals about your future plans
      If you get a restraining order, carry it with you at all times
      Tell companions that you are being stalked
      Avoid isolated places such as alleyways, restrooms, etc.

      Another suggestion is to get motion detector flood lights and mount them on any side of entry to your house…doors, windows, sliders, etc. They can be plugged in to any exterior plugs that you might have or, you can purchase solar motion flood lights as low as $33 each on sale on Amazon, and I believe there are also lights that are solar but can be plugged in as well. These usually help to deter a stalker from lingering close to your house as he will be illuminated although not all stalkers. But what they will do create a much clearer view of who the stalker is – either one of your neighbor might get a good description of him or one of you guys will get a clearer picture of exactly who he is. And last, when you do put up the outdoor wildlife cameras (if the police won’t do it) the motion lights will help the picture to be even more revealing.

      Because even with all our preventive measures to keep Morgan’s stalker out of the house her stalker did get in, I would also suggest you may want to consider the purchase of a small bedroom door alarm. Then if somehow the stalker does get in your house while you are sleeping and opens one of the door the alarm will go off and you will all hear it and be able to respond. We had nothing like this in our home and this might have made all the difference for Morgan. Here is one example:
      http://www.amazon.com/GE-Personal-Security-Door-Alarm/dp/B0000YNR4M

      I would also suggest that you go in person to the District Attorneys office and explain to them that you are in fear for your life (and how emotionally this is affecting you) and you would like to know what they can do to protect you, or put this person away so he can’t hurt you. In the meantime besides what I have suggested above I would also contact:

      The National Center for Victims of Crime (formerly known as the National Victim Center) provides referrals and advocacy services to victims through its toll-free national hotline. Through the hotline, victims are referred to the nearest, appropriate services in their community, including crisis intervention, assistance with the criminal justice process, and counseling and support groups. The National Center publishes bulletins on a number of topics, including domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking.

      They have excellent information on stalking, including stalking behavior logs, safety plan guidelines, and a complete handbook for victims, contact the National Center for Victims of Crime Stalking Resource Center online at http://www.ncvc.org, call 1-800-FYI-CALL (M-F 8:30 AM – 8:30 PM EST), or e-mail gethelp@ncvc.org
      http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center

      You sound like a warrior…good luck! I am praying for you. Contact me anytime if you need suggestions or help with this.

      “Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are” – Benjamin Franklin

    • Dianna I also wanted to mention the following…I’d like to say that you never know when his behavior will escalate and you could be in physical danger. I don’t know what city or state you are in, but if possible I would suggest that you call victim’s services, and find out if you can go to a safe house until you can get into the Address Confidentiality Program and move to your own safe place. If you move and are in the program you can then have everything run through that program so he hopefully can’t find you. I am not sure if this is even an option you would consider, but if you do choose to enter the program and you follow their suggestions it really can keep you much safer.

      • Thank you but this is my ex husband. he gained custody of my son whom now since things are going crazy I wanna give up all rights but afraid if I do, this man will hurt my son if he isn’t already doing so physically. The stalking isn’t half of what this man is doing. I now believe he has hired a person to do the job as if he has some sick fantasy to watch me suffer more. Breaking into my home… He stole court documents, clothes,all my seven year old whom he has custody… that’s how I know it’s my ex. The food he steals he put back,so I think he’s tryn to poison me also. I’ve had short term memory loss and problems with my teeth and vision problems all in one year . I have always been mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy, until I met this man. I went to see a councilor and after I told him my situation,, he said the only problems I have is what this man has put me through.
        He has destroyed several vehicles I’ve owned . one I found tracking devices on and traded it in. Two caught fire the same way..fluids leaking on manifold of vehicle and caught fire. The others all fluids drained out of well maintained vehicles and tire limbs found loose on brand new one after five days. Dangerous hell yea but he a sneaky dangerous.
        Its as if he likes to sit back n watch. I feel he has also put listening devices and cameras in my homes. I have another kid.I’ve been to the police every time I felt I had too but now it seems things have esculated and I have been making survival plans kill or be killed

        • Oh I almost forgot today September 1st 2015
          I received a call from the rental car people whom told me that the Insurance adjuster called the company where I rented my vehicle because this is the second one where fluids were causing smoke n fire.. It wasn’t an adjuster.
          I had changed phones last Friday, moved three weeks ago and told everyone I come in contract with concerning business, ” I have a stalker..pleased do not give out any No information.
          The renter car company gave me the name and number of the person whom said to call….I called the insurance company instead and the person wasn’t even close to bring named as the adjuster.
          I am filing a report and another protection order . I also looked at several guns.
          I’m sorry about Morgan but I pray she’s my Angel protecting over me and my babies for justice

          • I am so sorry – this is horrific and outrageous! I believe you have an angel named Morgan watching over you and your babies…she would want you to stay safe and get justice. You and your children deserve a safe and happy life. Stay strong and brave – I am sending you prayers.

        • Dianna – I believe you and your intuitions are most likely correct even though others who has never been in your situation will have a hard time understanding. There is another victim of stalking (by an ex-boyfriend) that I have been working with recently and she has had some of the same similar things happen that you have, along with 2 broken protection orders, and no end in sight. She is now working on a plan on how to protect herself as she also believes it is what she needs to do to survive. I can’t even imagine the pain and worry you are going through about your son. Please try to get help from a victim’s advocate – many times they can assist so your the person doing this to you can’t find you. Your situation sounds very dangerous and you need to get to a safe place as soon as possible. Have you spoken with the District Attorney’s office yet? If not go in person, explain what has happened, make sure they know you are in fear for your life and ask them what they can offer you in the way of help. Like you mentioned get another protection order and somehow get photographic proof of him being there – insist he is arrested and ask for the maximum penalty. Hopefully they should have an easy time after a 3rd broken order of protection.

          • Hi again it me Dianna.
            I recently found out what has been happening too me and as I read the article I had a sigh of relief knowing I wasn’t for one crazy and two realizing its a for real thing and its just not happening to me but others.
            What I have been experiencing and what my ex husband has been putting me through is called” Gas lighting”
            There are several reports of it via Internet and this type of person who do this is called a Phycopath.
            Now that I am aware of who I’m dealing with I will be cautiously aware of my surrounding and what I do.
            For I read that this type of person will never stop

            • Dianna I have been contacted by many victims of stalking that have explained to me about Gas Lighting and what it has done to their lives. I am so very sorry. Stalking is so very serious and everyone, law enforcement, prosecutors, and judges ALL have to take it seriously.

  12. God bless your daughter Morgan. The courage it must have taken you to write this is tremendous. I have a peeping tom landlord that is so sneaky the situation has turned into a serous stalking issue. The local police were called and did nothing even when I tried to present them with security video of him trespassing and stealing my property. A motion detector light was taken so he can not be seen in the dark. The police department ended up harassing me after the third attempt to have him arrested. Telling me they are sick and tired of being dispatched the my residence. It is a civil mater I was told. Thus telling the intruder there are not laws prohibiting his actions. Thank you for enlightening me about how a stalker acts and thinks. Before I read your story I was willing to carry out violence due to the rage within me due to this situation. My family and I plan on relocating.

    • Thank you so much for sending me your comment. I really appreciate your kind words about courage because at times I feel less courageous than I want. I can never bring Morgan back even though I wish for that every day, but my hope was that by giving people the actual facts about what happened it may help them understand stalking and protect them in some way, so I am glad it was able to help you.

      Now as far as your stalking goes…this is absolutely outrageous the way you have been treated by the police and it is not right. Have you looked up the stalking laws in your state? If not go to this link and look up those laws http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/stalking-laws/criminal-stalking-laws-by-state. These are all the states where stalking is considered CRIMINAL. Knowledge is power against your stalker. After reading the laws the next step is to go to your District Attorney and tell them about the seriousness of the crime and how the police have responded, how you feel about the threat of the stalker, and how you intend to move for your own safety. Ask for a victim’s advocate and check with your state’s victim’s confidential address program before you move so that when you move your information will be repressed and your stalker can not find you. Good luck and my prayers will be with you and your family.

    • I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this. Here are some suggestions. You should document everything. Keep a detailed timeline and call local law enforcement EVERY single time anything happens. Make you own list of every single incident, separate piece of paper for each or a running list, date, time, location, what happened, HOW IT MADE YOU FEEL, and list other witness(s) and give this to the police for their file after they have come to investigate an incident of stalking. And when they come to your home, get their business cards and make a report, ask them for a copy of their report EVERY single time, this helps build a case against your stalker. Keep all documentation in a safe place.

      Have a safety plan http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims/stalking-safety-planning. Take precautions. Tell everyone you know; neighbors, co-workers, friends, family everyone what is happening and who your stalker is or the description of the stalker. Give them all your phone number and the phone number of the detective at the police department that is in charge of your case, once it becomes a case.

      For good information that may help you click on https://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims

      If you haven’t tried some of the things I am listing below I encourage you to do so. Stalking is very serious – in order for him or her to be arrested for stalking, you will have to id him or her to law enforcement and/or someone needs to see him in the act, or his picture needs to be caught on camera.

      1. The first suggestion would be to definitely get a digital wildlife camera and mount it up high pointing at wherever your stalker seems to approach you home from, if you can get more than one and mount every one up high facing all access into the house that would be even better. Hang it up high enough so he/she can’t not knock it down, and make sure it is aimed so as to catch his/her facial features, i.e. pointing in the direction that he/she will be walking up to. There are Wifi enabled wildlife cameras as well. They all have a lag between when the camera detects motion until when it shoots the picture so read up on what the lag is on your cameras…ours was 8 seconds, but I know that the newer cameras have a shorter time period, which is good. These cameras, along with battery operated motion alarms, notify you when something was possibly caught on the camera & that does help. One of the stalking victims that contacted us early on from Colorado Springs said the police there offered to put up those type of wildlife cameras around her house in order to catch the stalker, and on the very first night they caught enough pictures of him in order to make an arrest and then get a conviction. This could involve you requesting that your police department put up these type of cameras, besides the ones that you are putting up. The second thing I’d like to say is that you never know when his behavior will escalate and you could be in physical danger.

      2. I don’t know what it is like in the Caribbean, but if possible I would suggest that you call victim’s services (if they have one), and find out if you can go to a safe house if you feel like you are in immediate danger.

      3. My third suggestion is to get motion detector flood lights and mount them on any side of entry to your house…doors, windows, sliders, etc. They can be plugged in to any exterior plugs that you might have or, you can purchase solar motion flood lights as low as $33 each, and I believe there are also lights that are solar, but can be plugged in as well. These usually help to deter a stalker from lingering close to your house as he/she will be illuminated although not all stalkers. But what they will do is create a much clearer view of who the stalker is – either one of your neighbors might get a good description of him/her or you will get a clearer picture of exactly who he/she is. And last, when you do put up the outdoor wildlife cameras the motion lights will help the picture to be even more revealing.

      Because even with all our preventive measures to keep Morgan’s stalker out of the house her stalker did get in, I would also suggest that you may consider purchasing a small bedroom door alarm. Then if somehow the stalker does get in your house while you are sleeping and opens the door the alarm will go off and you will hear it and be able to respond. We had nothing like this in our home and this might have made all the difference for Morgan. Here is one example:
      http://www.amazon.com/GE-Personal-Security-Door-Alarm/dp/B0000YNR4M

      I would also suggest that you go in person to the District Attorneys office (or whatever entity that is above local law enforcement) and explain to them that you are in fear for her life, explain your story and what you have done over to make it stop. Ask them what they can do for you. Ask if they can get you a protection order. They have to realize this is extremely dangerous. In the meantime, besides what I have suggested above, I would also contact:

      The National Center for Victims of Crime (formerly known as the National Victim Center). They provide referrals and advocacy services to victims through their toll-free national hotline. Through the hotline, victims are referred to the nearest, appropriate services in their community, including crisis intervention, assistance with the criminal justice process, and counseling and support groups. Victims’ advocates are a huge resource in order to help you navigate the options that you may have. The National Center publishes bulletins on a number of topics, including domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking.

      They have excellent information on stalking, including stalking behavior logs, safety plan guidelines, and a complete handbook for victims, contact the National Center for Victims of Crime Stalking Resource Center online at http://www.ncvc.org, call 1-800-FYI-CALL (M-F 8:30 AM – 8:30 PM EST), or e-mail gethelp@ncvc.org
      http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center

      And last but not least I would do research on the laws specific to stalking in the Caribbean – I found this link that may pertain to your location…not sure. http://caribbean.unwomen.org/en/caribbean-gender-portal/caribbean-gbv-law-portal/gbv-country-resources/bermuda#GHUTS
      III. GETTING HELP UNDER THE STALKING ACT 1997 & How does the law define stalking? & What type of order and protection can I get? & How long will the protection order lasts? & What is the penalty for stalking? & What are the powers of the police under the Act?

      Hope this helps. Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. Good luck!

  13. This is happening to me by a guy seeking revenge on me, he’s got his new girlfriend involved. I believe she’s instigating this to scare me, beat me up for hurting her boyfriend. This happened before she knew him. The police don’t believe me. I’m done giving him warnings. I don’t know what to do. I didn’t want him Arrested but now there’s no other way. It’s just me trying to get evidence and so far I’ve failed. I don’t know how to proceed.

    • Karen whether it is a situation that involves a bully or stalker I believe you should deal with it by continuing to report every single instance to the police, whether they believe you or not – this situation needs to be taken seriously, as it could escalate into even more violence.

      Here are some suggestions for you as you fight back. Again, you should document everything. Keep a detailed timeline and call the police EVERY single time anything happens. Make your own list of every single incident, separate piece of paper for each or a running list, date, time, location, what happened, HOW IT MADE YOU FEEL, and list other witness(s) and give this to the police for their file after they have come to investigate an incident of stalking. And when they come to your home, get their business cards and make a report, ask them for a copy of their report EVERY single time, this helps build a case against your stalker. Keep all documentation in a safe place. Here is a good example https://victimsofcrime.org/docs/src/stalking-incident-log_pdf.pdf?sfvrsn=4.

      Have a safety plan https://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims/stalking-safety-planning. Take precautions. Tell everyone you know; neighbors, co-workers, friends, family everyone what is happening and who your stalker is or the description of the stalker. Give them all your phone number and the phone number of the detective at the police department that is in charge of your case.

      For good information that may help you click on https://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims

      The second thing I’d like to say is that you never know when his/her behavior will escalate and you could be in even more physical danger. I don’t know what city or state you are in, but if possible I would suggest that you call victim’s services, and find out if you can go to a safe house until you can get into the Address Confidentiality Program, and move to your own safe place. If you move and are in the program you can then have everything run through that program so he/she hopefully can’t find you.

      My third suggestion is to get motion detector flood lights and mount them on any side of entry to your house…doors, windows, sliders, etc. They can be plugged in to any exterior plugs that you might have or, you can purchase solar motion flood lights as low as $33 each on sale on Amazon, and I believe there are also lights that are solar, and can be plugged in as well. These usually help to deter a stalker from lingering close to your house as he/she will be illuminated although not all stalkers care if they are caught in the light. But what it will do is to create a much clearer view of who the stalker is – either one of your neighbors might get a good description of him/her or you will get a clearer picture of exactly who he/she is. And last, when you do put up the outdoor wildlife cameras the motion lights will help the picture to be even more revealing.

      Because even with all our preventive measures to keep Morgan’s stalker out of the house, her stalker did get in, so I would also suggest that you may consider purchasing a small bedroom door alarm for each of your bedroom doors. Then if somehow the stalker does get in your house while you are sleeping and opens one of the doors the alarm will go off and you will hear it and be able to respond. We had nothing like this in our home and this might have made all the difference for Morgan. Here is one example:
      http://www.amazon.com/GE-Personal-Security-Door-Alarm/dp/B0000YNR4M

      I would also suggest that you go in person to the District Attorneys office and explain to them that you are in fear for her life, explain your story and what you have done to try and make it stop. Tell the DA that you would like to know what they have planned to protect you or put this person away so he/she can’t hurt you. Ask if you can get you a protection order. They have to realize this is extremely dangerous. In the meantime, besides what I have suggested above, I would also contact:

      The National Center for Victims of Crime (formerly known as the National Victim Center) provides referrals and advocacy services to victims through its toll-free national hotline. Through the hotline, victims are referred to the nearest, appropriate services in their community, including crisis intervention, assistance with the criminal justice process, and counseling and support groups. Victims’ advocates are a huge resource in order to help you navigate the options that you may have. The National Center publishes bulletins on a number of topics, including domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking.

      They have excellent information on stalking, including stalking behavior logs, safety plan guidelines, and a complete handbook for victims, contact the National Center for Victims of Crime Stalking Resource Center online at http://www.ncvc.org, call 1-800-FYI-CALL (M-F 8:30 AM – 8:30 PM EST), or e-mail gethelp@ncvc.org
      http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center

      Hope this helps. Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. Good luck!

  14. I am so sorry to hear about your loss…. I’m not a parent, so I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it is to lose a child. I have an anonymous stalker for going on 2.5 years now. I have had law enforcement involved since it started and have multiple cases opened in three different counties in my area. This is mainly because I tried to move to different places so that this person wouldn’t know where I am. It started with him emailing people around me and trying to isolate me from anyone I tried to get close to.. Then after about awhile he began sending me emails along with sending them to other people. They are very degrading and have escalated to threats towards not only me but people around me. The police have not been able to find anything using cameras (I also had a surveillance camera outside of one of my apartments and caught nothing); they haven’t found anything in IP addresses either because the person is very tech savvy and makes it look like different people every time someone gets any info. He also slashes my tires and keys my car all the time. He somehow managed to get a key to my first apartment that I had when I moved to the city I am in and was entering while I wasn’t home and taking small items that I didn’t realize were missing until I went looking for them. One night he entered my home and took a picture of me sleeping, and then a couple months later he sent it to me. He then later hung the key on my door in the middle of the day while I was home. He broke into my second apartment and stole little things again while I was walking my dogs and didn’t know he had found my new apartment. The emails are constant. He then began texting me and other people from a google voice number. He made me feel so low that I tried to end my life once (which I will never do again). Told me that when my mom died in a car accident that she had actually killed herself because I was such a disappointment and then began telling me that I should just do everyone a favor and kill myself. He is somehow getting all of my messages, pictures, and contacts even though I have changed all of my information multiple times and have taken them to the apple store to check for any kind of spyware/malware. They found nothing. The police have not been keeping up with me and staying on top of it even though I have told them that I am scared for my life. I think it is because I’m a 6’1 gay male and they aren’t taking my case seriously. I need help… I keep trying to get a step ahead and I always seem to be two steps behind… I have put 16 tires on my car in the last year not to mention friends tires that I have had to replace. I’m constantly paranoid and I never see anyone following me but he manages to know everything that I do. He has sent private photos to other people via email and is constantly breaking me down and damaging my image. I’m lost… I don’t know what to do anymore… He has already found me at a job that I just started here days ago… I can’t even go to the gym without coming outside to a slashed tire when I don’t even tell anyone where I’m going. Please, help me!

    • I am so very sorry this is happening. The first thing I want to say is, “This is NOT your fault.”
      The second thing I want to say is, “Even though your story is exclusive to you, it is also so much like so many other stalking victims that have contacted me, especially when you mention your slashed tires, the last two male victims that contacted me also had slashed tires!”

      The National Center for Victims of Crime reminds stalking victims, “Although no safety plan guarantees safety, such plans are valuable and important tools to keep victims safer, document incidents that happen with the perpetrator, make surroundings more secure, and identify people who can help.” I suggest you click on this link and read all the way through their page https://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims/stalking-safety-planning

      I will contact you privately via email to try to help with some ideas and links to organizations that may be able to help. Hang in there – I know this is hard, and I also know that the criminals always seem to be one up on law enforcement, but there are organizations out there that are experts in things that may help. I will email you shortly.

  15. I am so very sorry about what happened to Morgan. You’re in my prayers.

    I plan to go back and read thru the comments. I found your story looking for ideas on how to catch/stop a stalker. We started out with game trail cameras and one was stolen. We now have a 16 surveillance cameras around our house and an alarm system and my stalker has still made it inside my home. I would like to get the websites taken down in which teach people how to get around security systems. Our sheriff dept isn’t helpful and at first blamed me. A deputy said straight out it was my fault, and that it has to be somebody I know. This has been going on for years. Now the deputies say, there’s just a peeping tom in the neighborhood. I have leaned it does happen to 3 more ladies besides me close by. While I hate they have to go thru this, it actually made me feel a little better. Finally I wasn’t alone, it wasn’t my imagination and I don’t think as much what did I do wrong.

    • Oh my goodness Jennifer – I am so sorry you are going through this…some of it sounds like our case. We had a game trail camera, then the sheriffs put up 2 of their cameras, then we put up some surveillance cameras, motion lights, and motion alarms. We called ‘almost’ every time we had an incident (sometimes Morgan wasn’t even there – it was just my husband and myself, although I always believed she was the ‘main’ target). The sheriff later on even told the news that his deputies were out to our house over 50 times. After ~ 7 weeks of reporting to the sheriffs they officially opened a felony stalking case. We were never told that they didn’t believe us, but I have been told by many other stalking victims that law enforcement did not believe them…the most important thing is to believe the victim. But the sheriffs did tell us (before Morgan realized who her stalker(s) were) that THEY believed it was someone in the neighborhood because of the timing of the incidents. The patrol officers were very frustrated, but I believe they tried to help, they just didn’t have a good protocol to be able to catch the stalker(s) and their hands were tied because they did not have the proper tools. And as in your case (we learned from the first two patrol officers, and then from victims in an adjoining neighborhood) that there were other cases, similar to Morgan’s, of tapping on windows at night and a stalker watching throw their windows, up to only 2 weeks before her stalking started.

      I would like to suggest you click on this link from the the National Center for Victims of Crime partnered with the U.S. Department of Justice Office http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims/stalking-safety-planning and then consider keeping a detailed stalking log on EVERY incident of stalking that happens http://www.victimsofcrime.org/docs/src/stalking-incident-log_pdf.pdf?sfvrsn=4. Always call law enforcement EVERY time an incident happens, this will help them believe you and hopefully they will open a felony stalking case. Keep copies of every officer’s card and the incident number and add it all into your timeline. Stalking is very serious – please stay safe and tell EVERYONE (neighbors, relatives, employers, etc. what you are dealing with so there are more eyes and ears watching out for you. Please send me an email through this website if you need anymore suggestions. Take care!

  16. Hi. I’m so sorry for your loss, however, I appreciate your courage in telling this story. I have a stalker and I’ve had to move several times but he keeps it up. Was in my back yard just lastnight. I’ve reached out to the cops with no help. I’m at the end & I don’t know how to protect my family when he keeps coming…not sure what’s next…

    • Laura I am so sorry that you are going through this. Stalkers always need to be taken seriously. If you have moved several times and he keeps showing up this is VERY serious. Before you ever decide to move again please click on this link http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims/address-confidentiality-programs and look up the Address Confidentiality Program in your state. Call them and become informed on how to enter the program (before you move) so that your new address (if you move again) will be repressed and your stalker will have a much harder time finding you. Even though your experience with the police hasn’t helped up until now I still strongly encourage you to call them EVERY SINGLE TIME there is a stalking incident – have them come out, take their cards, keep a detailed timeline of the event, police that showed up, etc. click here for an incident & behavior log http://www.victimsofcrime.org/docs/src/stalking-incident-log_pdf.pdf?sfvrsn=4. This will ultimately build a case and help you get an order of protection against this person. Also, be informed…look up the stalking laws for your state – every state is different http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/stalking-laws/criminal-stalking-laws-by-state.

      We all know that no matter how much law enforcement wants to help, they can not be there all the time, so much of your safety, and the safety of your family, falls on your shoulders. In that regard I would like to through out some suggestions that you may want to think about. Non keyed dead bolts on the inside of all your doors that lead to the outside of your house and from the garage. At night deploy those deadbolts. Put window locks or poles in all slider windows and sliding glass doors. Purchase or borrow and hang up motion detecting wildlife cameras to try to catch a picture of your stalker. Possibly put up a security camera system. Motion detection lights outside your home. Motion detection alarms outside your home. Tell all neighbors, employers, schools, peers, friends, relatives, everyone about the details of your stalker so they could all be on the lookout for you. Have a safety plan http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims/stalking-safety-planning

      I will send you an email to let you know what my email address is. That way you can contact me if you need anymore suggestions. Take care – stay safe!

  17. Hey there. So i am 20 yrs. Old recebtly had a baby 12 20 16. Me and my husband have had some pretty horrifying things going on in our neck of the woods… Since BEFORE i had my son. We met a guy who lived down the road from us. He recently moved down here from Colorado. Coincidentally he came down from a part of colorado that is the same name as my husbands last name. We started noticing that our “friend” seemed to want to be more than just friends with me. One night we were outside by the bonfire and my husband stepped away for just a brief short few minutes , once he stepped away our “friend” proceeded to tell me… And i quote ” i cant stare at fire for very long because it makes me horny”. Not only did this creep me out but made me instantly realize this guy obviously likes me a little more than just as a friend… Then shortly after he started the whole following my every movement thing. If i would walk away or step just a few steps away he would come closer or follow me. This bothered my husband so i spoke to our “friend” about it and he apologized. I told him how innapropriate it was for him to do this as i was engaged at the time and in love with my soon to be husband at the time. For 2 weeks we heard nothing from him… Later he started coming back around…but this time he started stopping by my house wanting to talk to me or my husband knowing that my husband wasnt home and was at work . i would play as if i wasnt home and just let my dogs bark all they wanted. The 2nd time he done this , my husbands mother was home and lives in my front yard . she stopped him in the driveway for me and told him ” shes not home shawn and randy is at work “. You will hve to come back later….he completely ignored her and right up to my front door he came… He said ” i know your there. I just wanted to talk. Im not going to hurt you”… Terrified by those words i opened the door and stepped out onto the porch i gave him 3 reasons as to why him showing up without my husband home was wrong. Told him to please respect our house rules. He acted like it upset him but he agreed not to do that anymore. So again we heard nothing from him for 2 whole weeks…. Then he slowly started coming around again. By this point in time in the friendship with him me and my husband had discovered that he isnt quite right in the head…for several reasons. Well he proceeded to yet again 3 different times come to my house with my husband not home and our friend knew he was at work and had been WARNED NOT TO. In a very nice way at that. One time he came to the house got out of his truck and proceeded to stand around on my porch without even knocking almost like he was going through stuff or looking around. Then he got in his truck and left again. I knew it was him because he always wears a hat and i seen his silhouette through my window curtain. I told my husband immediately after and his mother who wasnt home when this incident happened. They were both furious. My husband refused to think that our friend had anything for me rather he blamed on him not being right in the head . but me and his mother where no fools and picked up on it very quickly at this point it was made crystal clear. So me my husband and his mom constantly tried to avoid our so called friend . Late one night i was walking down our drive way from my mother in laws house back to mine ( we live in the same yard ) i cant recall what it was i was going back to my house to get but as i stepped onto my porch i heard this horrible wolf sound that sounded very great to be an sound coming from a human…. I live in GA. There are no wolves and it wasnt like any wolf i heard on t.v . the sound came just from the other side of my house…. I ran as quick as i could to my mother in laws house and my husband and her both ran out the door with their guns ready. They heard the noise slowly going into the woods from the back of our house… And then it just stopped. Later on as we continued to dodge our friends attempts to hang out , we started having our truck doors being opened at NIGHT. Someone would drive past our house on the dirt road flying in the middle of the night…they would atop right before they got to our house and then you wouldnt hear the truck then all of a sudden they would take off like a bat out of hell after sitting for 20 sometimes just 10 minutes… Several times i woke my husband up to listen to it and several times we would race down the dirt road and couldnt catch up to who ever it was…. And every time we would take the dirt road around our house and come by our so called friends house where he lives with his dad. Not a single light would be on not even a security light on a pole out in the yard. Just pitch black so you couldnt ever make out if he was really home or not…. And every time this crap would happen it would happen at night. One sunday our friend went to church and we did not. My father is the pastor and our friend told my father he was in the canadian army…well our friend told us he was in the navy….LIE NUMBER 1 debunked. He was never in any type of military. He would gon and on to us about his navy experiences and he went on and on to my father of his canadian army experiences. Time progressed . our friend came over eventually to my husbands mothers house and we all hung out up there at her house. I was walking back towards my mother in laws bedroom and yet again he proceeded to follow me …. Freaked me out ….. At this point . luckily like i said earlier and above i wasnt by myself. After our friend left , me and my husband went back to our house to get ready for bed. 3 hours after our friend left. My husband layed down and fell asleep. I sat in my living room and fed and pet my cat midnight. Then after about 30 minutes of doing that i got up locked the doors and proceeded to turn each light out besides the bathroom light in the house. When i got to my bedroom i sat on my husbands side of the bed in front of our window and was making sure his phone was on charge . all of a sudden someone tapped on my window like someone would at your door. ” do do doo ” sounding…. Then again on the siding of the house beside my window…. With my husbands phone in my hand i panicked and called my mother in law asap . i asked her if she was knocking on my window. She said no im not then i told her what i heard. She got her gun and her police mag light out and. Stayed on the phone with me as she headed towards my house to investigate and told me to wake my husband up. Just as i woke him up. I hear over the phone ” hey bitc* i got something for yo as*! Bam bam bam bam bam! She came inside and told us she seen someone dressed in a dark longsleeve jacket going into the woods at the back of the house…. Needless to say our so called “friend” was wearing jist that 4 hours prior to this when he was up here. We heard nothing from him again for about 2 weeks… We really tried our hardest as to avoid him at this point in time. One evening me and my mother in law where sitting inside of her house. We heard a truck that sounded like our friends start to come down the road. So she got up to look out of her window our friend stopped at our driveway then proceeded down the road. He didnt pull in the yard and try to see me again because he seen my husbands mothers car was in the yard and he knew she was home. So we envited him to come over that same afternoon to set him up and see what his ententions where. He replied with a yes that he would come over and hang out but then 4 hr.s later said it would be a little longer before he could because he was helping his dad with a few things. Well he never showed up to hang out with ALL OF US. That told us right then…his only interests was with me… My mother in law later caught him lieing over the phone about something and told him to stay away from our house and from me. And we havent been friends or spoke since then. Time went on and never had any other things to happen then one night me and my husband went out and for the first time we actually locked our doors when we left ” something we never do “. We get home and as i get ready for bed i make my usual trip around the house to lock doors and turn lights out…when i got to the back bedroom the window was WIDE OPEN….. Someone came into our house while we where gone but took nothing … They used the window for obvious reasons…they couldnt just walk right in that day… As my husband looked at the outaide of the window we discovered it had been pryed open with what looked like maybe a pocket knife… Since then i live in fear every NIGHT. Im 20 years old and i cant go to the bathroom in the middle of the night i must wake my husband up to go… Our windows are screwed shut ! Our doors stay locked and we are investing in several. 4-8 cameras outside and spy cameras for the inside of the house. I sleep with my pistol at my bedside. A knife in my dresser beside me. A knife atuck between the mattress on both sides of mine and my husbands bed. And a samuri sword at the ready. I dont think its too much or overkill by keeping these items at the ready by no means. I have a newborn baby to protect now…its his life and mine and my hisbands as well. We thought of involving the law but worry that without proof obviously there is nothing they can do . but take a report of the incidents. There is no telling what this guy has seen peeping through my windows …if he hadnt of tapped on the window that one time i wouldnt have known he was even there! So now all of my curtains are room darkener curtains as well. Your story above gives very good advice and i hope and pray that MY STALKER never returns to my house again.

    • I am so sorry that you are going through this. Stalkers always need to be taken seriously. Even though your experience with the police hasn’t helped up until now I still strongly encourage you to call them EVERY SINGLE TIME there is a stalking incident – have them come out, take their cards, keep a detailed timeline of the event, police that showed up, etc. click here for an incident & behavior log http://www.victimsofcrime.org/docs/src/stalking-incident-log_pdf.pdf?sfvrsn=4. This will ultimately build a case and help you get an order of protection against this person. Also, be informed…look up the stalking laws for your state – every state is different http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/stalking-laws/criminal-stalking-laws-by-state.

      We all know that no matter how much law enforcement wants to help, they can not be there all the time, so much of your safety, and the safety of your family, falls on your shoulders. It was wonderful that your mother-in-law came right over with a gun in hand. In that regard I would like to through out some other suggestions too that you may want to think about. Non keyed dead bolts on the inside of all your doors that lead to the outside of your house and from the garage. At night deploy those deadbolts. Put window locks or poles in all slider windows and sliding glass doors. Purchase or borrow and hang up motion detecting wildlife cameras to try to catch a picture of your stalker. Possibly put up a security camera system. Motion detection lights outside your home. Motion detection alarms outside your home. Tell all neighbors, employers, schools, peers, friends, relatives, everyone about the details of your stalker so they could all be on the lookout for you. Have a safety plan http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/help-for-victims/stalking-safety-planning

      I will send you an email to let you know what my email address is. That way you can contact me if you need anymore suggestions. Take care – stay safe!

I welcome your feelings and ideas on Morgan's Stalking