Burning candles all around our house today for Morgan
This post was written by Morgan’s daddy, Steve.
This morning there are so many things of Morgan’s surrounding us, her paintings, photographs, a little silver charm with her first name engraved on it, and family pictures, everywhere. I feel her smile and her love of life in everything, and of course I feel that love always because it was so very strong in everything Morgan chose to do.
At the same time the story of her death becomes part of the legacy in a lawless county of Colorado, and what it has meant for so many others, step by plodding step. Fresh experiences with so many new twists, new turns and new surprises fill today, three years after the day she had every last thing so viciously stripped from her.
We all lost the bright shining light that is Morgan three short years ago. Her puppy Wylah seems to be watching her mom sometimes…and she is starting to get over the fear she has had of that certain type of young man ever since Morgan’s sudden death. Morgan’s kitty Mo has never really repeated his very vocal, ma… ma, since Morgan’s death – he knows she is no longer right here, and our family dog Tessi still stops in her tracks and turns to look whenever she hears Morgan’s name called out.
For Toni and I learning new truths never seems to stop. The desire to fill in the blanks goes on too. They feed each other, and both continue to be so important to us. But then they have their own internal schedule as if not to release too much all at one time. We both think we could have handled it, only deep inside we both know that would not have been possible. The ever unfolding truth about Morgan’s death has been precipitated by unseen events I have no control over, and they continue to happen, entirely on their own circadian rhythm. The unchanging truth just keeps managing to bubble up with new bits and pieces of evidence, whenever and wherever it wants to. I can sense that what at first was manifestations of lies and deceit by others sworn to protect her is now borne so much more of guilt and fear by these very same people.
We wish to never lose the tiniest slice of who Morgan was, her intense caring, nurturing and of course uncanny ability of seeing it all on a more simple straightforward prism of life. How she could distill it all into just that one point. Of course it might have taken her an entire poem to completely express that one point, but that was Morgan. Her presence and abilities are always missed. There is such a growing knowledge and understanding of how the selfish uncaring and vindictive lives of others can touch us all through what happened to Morgan. For some people Morgan is closer now than she has ever been in the three long years since her death. To be able to feel how strong she is brings such comfort, and is such a blessing.
While the world moves on today Toni and I will take a moment to let time just stop for us this moment. We’ll allow all things Morgan to permeate as much as they wish. We’ll look at pictures, watch videos, read her pose and share our memories. A light that bright can’t be allowed to have been extinguished from the world completely and forever. We intend to let her memories burn brighter and touch us more deeply than ever as we go forward from today.
And to all of you who have followed and learned from the story of Morgan, you have gained a little sense of just what she meant to this world. And there are so many who knew Morgan and could add immeasurably to that little sense which has begun with her story. That one particular part, friends who really knew Morgan, adding to her ever growing story. That specific part, Toni and I both want to happen more and more, and I know that it will, because an eerie frightening darkness of deceit that began with her death has managed to live on – day by day, even minute by minute – that darkness needs to be pierced through now. Not only for the causes she started and had begun to dedicate her life to need full reign to blossom and move onward, but even more the tragic actions of stalking that stole first her freedom and then her life need to be fought on her behalf. Toni and I together, with so many other co-victims, know in our hearts this to be true, and more importantly in our actions we wish to make a real change so that others will not be made to suffer as Morgan did on that day, and how she has ever since.
The world will always have need for the love, the ideals and the deep, deep caring of Morgan… perhaps now more than ever.
We all love you Morgan, forever and ever. Daddy.