It’s not a joke…take stalking seriously

Speak up when you hear jokes about stalking, as though it is funny.  Speak up when you hear any harmful comments by others.  Speak up when you hear a friend say things like, “who would want to stalk her?”

Each of us has the opportunity to challenge ideas and behaviors that support stalking behavior.  It is not okay, it is not just flirting, it is not just a game, it is criminal and it can become deadly, like in our daughter Morgan’s case.

Victims deserve justice, families deserve justice – it’s as simple as that…

FOHVAMP

This past Fall, on September 30th, I flew to Denver, CO in order to attend quite a few meetings – one of which was the FOHVAMP Annual Meeting and Cold Case Domestic Homicide Study, “The People VS George Ruibal,” on Saturday, October 1st.

After I landed and checked into my hotel I found out from a friend that this very evening, Friday, September 30th, was a Black Moon Eclipse!  I was then told that Chani Nicholas said this new moon is in Libra –  it is actually called the JUSTICE MOON because the sign for Libra is the “scales of justice”this was a really a positive sign for me to hear on this evening before the FOHVAMP meeting.  Here is the link to what she says about the new moon http://chaninicholas.com/2016/09/new-moon-in-libra-horoscopes-for-the-week-of-september-26th/

scales-316888_1280

I was extremely honored to have been appointed the position as the West Coast Regional Director, representing FOHVAMP (Families of Homicide and Missing Persons, and OCCA (Organization of Cold Case Advocates). I was also very excited about connecting with some of the Colorado co-victims that I had been working with.

I met one of my friends from Northern California shortly after my plane landed.  The other 2 in our group had had their flight delayed, so my friend and I left in an Uber for the hotel.  After many hours enjoying the company of my friends and associates from the JS Intuitive Investigations Alliances, of which I am proud to announce that I am the Law Enforcement Investigations Case Manager, I excused myself and went up to my room to get some long needed rest.

I opened the curtains to my room and gazed out at the sites of Denver.  I felt a twinge of sadness that I no longer lived in Colorado.  Then I asked out loud, “Morgan, tomorrow’s a big day, please send me a sign.”  After that I went to sleep.  The next morning while getting ready to go to the meeting, I called Steve.  This is when something very strange happened. My phone was set on speaker, after I clicked on Steve’s number I had laid it on the counter top on speaker phone – I heard it start to ring Steve’s number, then all of a sudden, out of the blue, it started playing the song by the Beatles “With a Little Help From My Friends.”  It was not only playing the song, but it was playing it REALLY LOUD!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-uTocAlIyw

I had no idea how to turn it off – I was shocked, then all of a sudden it went silent and I heard Steve’s voice say, “Hello.”  I told him what had just happened.  I asked him if he knew why my cell phone just started playing that song, then all of a sudden stopped when he said hello.  He laughed and said, “It was Morgan sending you a sign that everything that is about to unfold this weekend will be fine, and you will get by with a little help from your friends.  Now why didn’t I realize that?  It made perfect sense.  My team from JS Intuitive Investigation Alliances had flown in with me to attend the meetings.  Well I guess “signs” are always coming to us, but we don’t always recognize all of them. 🙂  After I “got it” I said thank you to Morgan out loud.

fohvamp

Toni Ingram, Jennifer Shaffer, Rob Wells, Michelle Eddins and Joyce Jackson

Having had a great meeting, earning my P.O.S.T. credits, talking with some amazing people that are doing amazing work in Colorado for the families of victims, and spending time with some of the co-vicitims that I have worked with over the years, left me feeling really wonderful by the end of the day.  The next meeting was just as enlightening.

The following day was very special, as I watched and helped as my “Team” gave of their time (as always) to grieving parents.  The time passed so fast that before I knew it it was time to head back to the airport.  Taking one last look towards the snow-capped mountains, I felt a pull at my heart.  I love Colorado, and yet until things change, I do not want to live there.  Since my trip to October I remember my thoughts, and know it is up to me to make sure these changes take place.  Yes, I know I have done a lot – I know I have helped many…and yet I have not done the last things Steve and I have known all along we would have to do…tell Morgan’s whole story.  Yes, I have told her story, and it was painful, but not her whole story.  We also held back information, always in the hope that the state of Colorado would open her investigation, but they didn’t.  Not to say they didn’t try, but it didn’t happen.  So now we keep climbing up higher and higher, knowing that eventually our voices will be heard.  Cross your fingers that 2017 will be the year of justice for Morgan.

When it comes to capital murder, luckily there is no statute of limitation.  Because justice is a RIGHT!

Fight Song by Rachel Platten…And I Still Have A Lot Of Fight Left In Me

I heard this song for the very first time tonight, and I said, “Wow!”  It was exactly how I was feeling.  Songs sometimes have a way of doing that.  There is such power in words, and music.

In December, when the 5th Anniversary of Morgan’s death arrived, I felt like I was sucker-punched.  I never thought 5 years would go by without an investigation into Morgan’s homicide.  She was a victim of stalking and murder that was “swept” under the rug.  People write in to me all the time to tell me they are proud of Steve & I for fighting on for Morgan, as well as other victims of stalking.  They say they are “amazed” at how strong we are.  It is really wonderful to hear, and it has helped us a lot, BUT after December it felt like all the air went out of my lungs…I couldn’t breathe.  I woke up every morning telling myself what I needed to do next to fight on for Morgan, but I couldn’t do it.  I was frozen in pain.  I couldn’t fight.

That has now changed.  I am now ready to fight on.  Like the lyrics of this song say – “My power’s turned on.  Starting right now I’ll be strong.”  And this will be “my” fight song.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  Every time I listen to it I feel Morgan, and visualize her clapping her hands…she never gave up and neither will I.  Justice for Morgan, and nothing less!

 

Fight Song
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion
And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep
Everybody’s worried about me
In too deep
Say I’m in too deep (in too deep)
And it’s been two years I miss my home
But there’s a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe
And all

Pictures that made Morgan smile…

Morgan created this picture of our family.  When she posted it she wrote, “Pictures that make me smile.”

I love it!  Morgan’s picture is on the top left, her daddy, Steve, in the middle, I am on the top right, her brother Ryan is on the bottom left and her sister Kristin is on the lower right.  This was and is our family.  Death can not separate, or destroy us.  We are, and always will be connected by unconditional love.

Ages 18 – 24 Experience The Highest Rate of Stalking #NSAM or #NSAM2017!

Morgan was 19 years old when her stalking started, and 4 months later, after she had turned just 20, she was murdered…Morgan, along with other female victims that were murdered in the last 5 years, were all between the ages of 18 – 24-years-old.  Even though in the other cases, stalking was not listed in their cases, I believe they were stalked.  This I believe after speaking with their families and/or friends.  Stalking is a very serious crime and should never be taken lightly!

Stalking can affect a victim’s emotional, physical, and economic well-being. Visit bit.ly/NSAM2017 for more info.

I personally know the impact stalking has on it’s victims – the devastating toll it takes.  My husband Steve and I were also victims of the same stalking that Morgan endured.  We lived in the same house during those 4 months of stalking.  We know what it’s like to become hyper-vigilent, constantly looking over our shoulder.  We know what it’s like not to want to leave your house because you have a “feeling” that the stalker may gain entry and being lying in wait.  We know what it’s like to be wake up in the middle of the night from the noise of the stalker trying to gain entrance, and/or setting off lights and alarms to harass and scare you.  We know how your emotions go from anger to embarrassment to frustration, then minimization, and then to self-blame, and in our case fear.  Fear that harm may befall our youngest daughter…which it did.  It makes you sick to your stomach. 

Morgan eventually did identify her stalker, along with his girlfriend (our neighbor), during the stalking.  None of us understood anything about gang stalking at the time.  We knew people were involved in helping to misdirect and make up false alibis, but we did not understand the extent in which gang stalking encompassed.  We now know…

The same day we found Morgan’s body, the lead sheriff detective, Rob Glassmire (now the new coroner for Garfield County – kind of worked out for him didn’t it?), told us we could take down our cameras, because there was no more Morgan, so no more stalker…I was shocked!  He said this to us, and yet Steve and I were on listed all the sheriffs reports as victims of the same stalking, and the detective knew this, but we never thought about it at the time.  We were just worried about Morgan.  We now know we were all targets! We experienced stalking incidents when Morgan wasn’t even home at the time of those incidents, and the detective knew that.  We were victims of the stalking, and we were still alive, so why did he think the stalking would stop?  And if you are wondering – it didn’t stop…

We lived through that 4 months of hell with Morgan.  When you find your daughter dead in your own house you go into a state of shock.  You are not totally yourself.  You hear the words that are being spoken, you may feel they are wrong, you can be angry or upset about them, but you have absolutely no fight left in you at that very moment in time.  You are numb.  You feel like you are not really there…it is as though you are watching your own nightmare, and you think that any minute now you will wake up.  I don’t expect most folks to understand the feeling, and I hope they never have to.  But that was our reality on December 2, 2011.

– Stalking is pervasive and causes intense personal suffering – 

When we found our healthy 20-year-old daughter Morgan dead, during an active investigation into her felony stalking, it became devastating for us.  Then immediately we were told by the lead detective, before her body had even been taken away for an autopsy:

 *That he was certain her death had nothing to do with the stalker we “knew” it didn’t sound right.  

  • We were then told there was no sign of breaking and entering (we now know that meant nothing – no fingerprinting was even ever done, and there were multiple ways we now know someone could have gotten in without a break-in.  Just 2 days before Morgan’s murder our next door neighbor reported a theft from their home and there were NO sign of a break-in and the night Morgan was murdered multiple things were stolen out of her room)
  • Then we were told there is no sign of a sexual assault (how could he say that? They never even checked for signs of a sexual assault, even though her pants were unzipped and unbuttoned, and they noted there were minute “spots” all over her chest under the UV light – bodily fluids)
  • We were then told by the detective that there was no sign of suicide (he said there were no syringes, empty pill bottles, or vessels in her room)
  • He then went on to say there was no sign of a struggle (another HUGE lie; her body and room showed signs of a struggle, and this can be seen in the crime scene photos), and then he said there were no signs that she could have been subdued (and yet we can see an injection mark, clear as day, on the crime scene photos that we received two years after her murder).  
  • There are so many FACTS/EVIDENCE involved in Morgan’s stalking and murder that indicate she was murdered, and yet the Garfield County Sheriffs want to ignore every, and all FACTS/EVIDENCE.

The Stalking Resource Center of the National Center for Victims of Crime said, “We are pleased to continue our partnership with the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice, in observing National Stalking Awareness Month 2017. Working to raise awareness about the realities of stalking is as critical as ever, especially for the 7.5 million individuals stalked each year in the U.S.”  These images I am sharing are supplied by the National Stalking Awareness Month organization.