Tomorrow is a day I dread…

Tomorrow, on December 2, 2017, it will have been 6 years since our daughter Morgan was murdered.  I can’t even begin to explain what that feels like.  Nothing in your life could ever prepare you for the day you find your child murdered.  Morgan was young, healthy, and in love with life – but her life was cut short by an unspeakable acts of human cruelty.

She was stalked for four months – we were all stalking victims, even our pets, her cat, her puppy, and our dog. They all knew something was wrong, terribly wrong. We were all living through a horrific stalking, never knowing when the next fright, or shock would come. Or when you would be thrust out into the night to search vainly for the tormentor.  But the rest of us were not murdered in this final act of demented fantasy – only Morgan suffered that fate.  She was attacked and murdered – of that there is no question.

To lose our daughter to murder after fighting to keep her safe during those four months of stalking, became like being buried under an added layer of cruelty that was beyond comprehension.  It seemed to grow over time, as acute feelings of injustice, distrust and helplessness brought its own intense pain and sorrow, all of which compounded our initial shock.  And yes, there were times it took all the strength I could muster just to breathe…it hurt so much.

Tomorrow our family will light candles again for Morgan, and cry.  We will hold each other close and wonder WHY…why is she not here with us?  Why was her life taken from us? Why wasn’t it us instead of her?  I’m sure these are all the same questions other families ask as well. All of us are forever changed because of the senseless act of evil we call murder.  And no amount of justice, restitution, prayer or compassion will ever bring our loved ones back.

So tomorrow, while our family morns the loss of Morgan, please keep Morgan, and our family in your thoughts.  Please remember her for who she was – not a victim of stalking or murder, but a beautiful, kind, and loving soul who graced this planet for only 20 short years.

Thank you so much for all your love and support – it means more than words could ever express.

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN…

Morgan on her last Halloween in 2011 – she always had hearts everywhere…:)

The picture above is the screensaver on my phone.  It is a picture of Morgan on Halloween many, many years ago.  When I looked down at my phone and saw the time, 1:11 on October 19th I knew I had to take a screen shot of it…Morgan sending me angel numbers.

*** NEWS FLASH *** Coming Soon…Morgan’s Story on Crime Watch Daily!

We are so excited that our daughter’s story will soon be aired on Crime Watch Daily.

Emmy® Award-winning CRIME WATCH DAILY WITH CHRIS HANSEN is the very first crime show to air in daytime syndication and receive Daytime Emmy® nominations in both its inaugural and second seasons. Anchored from the streets of New York City and led by renowned veteran journalist Chris Hansen, CRIME WATCH DAILY delivers in-depth true-crime sagas showcasing the very best of crime journalism.

Stay tuned for upcoming details

You can read about Crime Watch Daily at https://crimewatchdaily.com

Check your local listings, or click on the following link https://crimewatchdaily.com/page/2015/06/03/when-its-on/ and get ready to see, and hear, more than has ever previously been released, about Morgan’s case.

 

Morgan LOVED to Read, Research & Learn

Those who really knew Morgan knew that she loved to read, do her own research, and learn…she never stopped learning.  Steve found these 3 cards the other day, while looking through a box we had packed up after her murder…we both sobbed.  The pain of losing Morgan is still indescribable.

Morgan was such a kind, loving young woman – and so much more.  She had a passion for learning.  My throat constricts, and my heart feels like it is being crushed, when I think of not only what we lost, when Morgan’s life was cut short, but also what the world lost. How could a person or persons be so soulless, so lacking in human feelings, as to want to end another’s life?  I don’t think I will ever be able to understand it.  I know murderers live among us.  I know they look like ordinary people like us – but they are so very different…they lack feeling, they lack human compassion, and they still walk our streets.

In Morgan’s short 20 years she had helped so many, and brought happiness to many more…I know she would have continued to do so throughout her life…but that life was taken from her.  Morgan was murdered during an active investigation into her felony stalking.  I know some people don’t like to hear that – it’s upsetting and scary.  But no amount of candy-coating, from people that do not want her death to be investigated, can change that fact.  Morgan still needs and can receive justice for what was done to her.

If I had been the one killed, instead of Morgan, I guarantee you Morgan would have done all the research a lot faster, and a lot more thoroughly than I have.  She would have become a great women’s rights lawyer, fighting for justice, like she had planned.  All those dreams are now gone, but her fight for justice continues…through all of us.

I will also never ever understand how a victim of stalking, a stalking where the victim identified her stalker, and law enforcement knew who the suspect was (they have his name in the police reports listed as SUSPECT), a victim who is found dead, and her death deemed to be “suspicious” on the very morning her body is found – then no evidence is collected, no fingerprints taken, no rape kit done, suspicious “spots” on her chest are not tested – instead, that very morning, the detective tells us her death is a “mystery” until the forensic pathologist tells them what the cause and manner of death is.  THEN…the pathologist comes back with a determination of “Natural Causes,” so law enforcement says there is no need for an investigation…convenient for them – right?

And just so you know, Colorado law, at that time, clearly states that the contracted forensic pathologist, Dr. Robert Kurtzman, was completely responsible for the investigation – but he was never at the crime scene – he disregarded what her parents, Morgan’s doctors, and the physical and the scientific evidence and medical certainty, which is what he is supposed to listen to…instead he made his own decision, irresponsible based on pure speculation and then listed the false information all on his own.

In a different case out of Colorado, a case where Dr. Kurtzman (same forensic pathologist that did Morgan’s autopsy) ruled two little boys’ deaths as accidental, the case of the Jensen brothers, the Colorado Supreme Court would not allow Dr. Kurtzman’s PER, or his opinion to be heard by the jurors stating that, “It would only confuse the jurors.”  A doctor is supposed to state scientific certainty, not make up what he wants it to be, or is being told to say…facts are facts, the truth is the truth and sure, people in positions of trust, like a forensic pathologist, are given the benefit of the doubt because we are supposed to trust them, but some are not what they seem, and do not do the right thing.

THEN…8 months later, after the forensic pathologist, going against all the physical and scientific evidence that Morgan died at the hands of another, changed her Manner of Death to a “Suicide,” with absolutely no evidence.  This is such nonsense and yet it gets scarier every time I speak with an expert involved in these type of determinations.  The very educated top forensic toxicologists that run the toxicology tests and produce the documentation are frustrated as well…they say that some of these forensic pathologists misread the results and go off what they believe and NOT the scientific findings!  This is ludicrous – and yet it happens, and yes, it happened in Morgan’s case. The coroner would NEVER speak with us about Morgan’s death – not once.  The forensic pathologist, Dr. Robert Kurtzman (now working for the Medical Examiner in Montana) threatened me that he could change her manner of death if I didn’t stop having Morgan’s doctors and other experts contact him…and 8 months later he made good on his promise.

How can Garfield County get away with this?  I have asked myself that many, many times now.  So far they have gotten away with it.  But I don’t plan on it staying like that forever – the truth will come out.  Our family is not about to give up.  Morgan is worth all of our efforts to right this wrong, as are all the other victims of stalking that need our help.  #JusticeForMorgan

 

 

And she said, “I love you daddy.”

 Ask any adult woman about their father, one who still calls their father “daddy,” and you will hear stories of immense love and respect. I have been blessed to be married to one such “daddy” – Steve.  Both Morgan and her oldest sister always called him “daddy,” and they absolutely adored him.

Blood doesn’t always make you a “daddy.”  Another person has always called Steve “daddy.”  My niece never knew her own father, so ever since she was a small child, Steve treated her just like one of our own daughters.  She loved him very much.  And just like our own 2 girls, she made him father’s day cards, always got excited to see him and never got off the phone without saying she loved him.  And to this very day my niece still ALWAYS calls Steve “daddy.”  Even as a mother herself, and almost 40 years old, to her Steve is “daddy.”

I have met many friends over the years that still call their fathers “daddy.”  What a beautiful thing – I love hearing them talk about their childhoods and all the wonderful memories they have.  It really does take someone special to be a daddy.  A person that really loves spending time with their children.  Someone that is always there for them, someone they can count on.  Someone who knows there is no greater gift in this world then a child…that makes a “daddy.”  One of my dear friends just lost her “daddy” to cancer – it was painful and cruel.  She is hurting so much and yet every time she speaks about him she smiles (with tears in her eyes) and you can hear the love in her voice for the man she will always call “daddy.”

You are probably wondering why in the world I am going on and on about this.  Well because I just remembered something that happened about a year after Morgan was killed.  A woman contacted me to say that she was convinced Morgan killed herself because she had read that the last thing Morgan said to Steve was, “I love you daddy.”  Now I have heard a lot of crazy things from people over the years – but when I heard this woman say that, I felt a wave of sadness for her…what kind of childhood had this woman had that would make her think that?  It was just all too sad.

For Morgan to say, “I love you daddy” was completely normal behavior for Morgan.  I know for many other girls and women this would be normal behavior as well, and for those who can not understand it, I feel a deep sadness.  Unconditional love comes from the heart, it’s what every child deserves, but not every child receives.  What a wonderful world this would be if everyone could know, and understand, unconditional love.