Candles burning brightly & more birthday love…

happy birthday from dennis

So many people have sent words of love today for Morgan’s birthday.  They have been burning candles, sending her personal messages, and creating images like the picture above.  I know Morgan can feel all the love she is being sent, and my heart is full of gratitude.  I know she is not forgotten.

People have written in to me to say how heartbroken they are over the injustice that has been done to Morgan…it’s hard to fight for so long for justice – it starts to wear you down after a while.  And then all of a sudden a bright glimmer of hope just seems to pop up out of nowhere and propels you forward again.  One of those bright glimmers is shimmering right now – keep your fingers crossed!  And thank you all for the beautiful light from your candles that you are burning for Morgan.

sarah candle

 

candle live love laugh

Happy Birthday Morgan – We love you and miss you so much!

birthdayWe will celebrate your 24th birthday today Morgan…we will never forget.  As we burn our candles for you we will be sending out beautiful and positive thoughts of love.  You always were, and always will be my baby girl…remember that time in the car I told you that? And you laughed because you were no longer a baby?  Well I told you then and I will tell you again now – no matter how old you get you will ALWAYS be my baby. And yes I know you will never be more than 20 because that is how old you were when you passed but for me every single one of your birthdays still matters.

So now I celebrate your 24th birthday without you here and yet I know you are still here, just not anywhere that we can see you.  But be assured sweetheart your presence is felt.  You are in the sunrise this morning, I hear your voice as the birds started their beautiful conversations amongst each other, I felt you in the early morning fog that lay over the grass, and I see you in the vast blue morning sky.  You are always around.

Here are some beautiful candles that have already been lit for you by some very special people that love you.

dragonflycandleada

lambcandledonna

 

 

Protection Orders – should you get one or not? The million dollar question.

streetlamp

Ask most any law enforcement officer if they agree with protection orders, and you will most likely get an answer something like, you are taking a big chance with protection orders.  And are they are right, and if so why?  Because too many times a TRO, aka Temporary Restraining Order, aka Protection Order is issued and the person meant to be protected is vandalized, beaten or killed.  Doesn’t sound like a very good thing does it?

But how could this be?  If you are being stalked or a victim of a sexual crime, or domestic abuse you need protection, you deserve protection, your life depends on it.  And once again, why is that?  Because your tormentor, your perpetrator, the pervert who has you in their cross hairs needs to be stopped NOW, and the ugly truth is that at present this piece of paper states simply, “you (the perpetrator) need to stop this, now, or else!  This person is so close to unhinged that a little piece of paper like this could send him or her over the edge, completely unhinged, and they will retaliate, against you, for doing nothing except trying to protect yourself, your children, and your pets.  And your death could be on the table as one of the potential retaliations to this piece of paper.

Then of course there are the less lethal varieties of retaliation, your tires could be sliced, all four, your home may be entered and destroyed, your pets could be threatened, and then killed, on and sickening on, and sickening on.  Doesn’t sound very much like protection does it?  And if your perp is that close to being unhinged to begin with shouldn’t that be a clue as to how dangerousness he is to begin with?

Ever notice that if law enforcement is responding to a call, and there is a warning that the suspect is “to be considered armed, and dangerous” oh boy, there is now an entirely new protocol in place.  Double the responders, weapons all drawn, shoot to kill.  Why is a Protection Order in Place less important?  Why is a suspected felony stalking that includes tapping on windows again any less of a danger?  Why was a call for Morgan less important than “to be considered armed, and dangerous”.  Why is she dead while her tormentor lives on?  To Steve and I this does not seem very fair, or equitable.

Morgan identified her stalker to others, including law enforcement over 35 times.  Five months after her death the Garfield Sheriff’s Department not only had no suspect, they all of a sudden NEVER had a suspect.  Who was it that Morgan was reporting?  K.V.G.,  grand theft auto, trespassing, breaking and entering, theft by receiving (as part of a plea bargain), possession with intent to distribute,  identified by J.H., B.H’s father, as the stalker.  The stalker that I was told with certainty, to the exclusion of all others, by the detective assigned to catch him, only two days before Morgan was murdered.  The same detective that told me that things might escalate.  The young man in question who so quickly pointed the finger at his “ex” girlfriend.  Then pointed the finger at his next door neighbor, sorry Wiley, we know better, but he did try to blame you. The young man in question, that pillar of society, according to his manager at work, caught with a trunk load of drugs, and a scale, who regularly pawned gold for cash to the point they instantly recognized him as a regular customer.  Where is he getting all this gold to pawn anyway? isn’t that worthy of one question?  And in case you forgot, all of Morgan’s valuable jewelry was missing the night she was killed.  Pumped up with at least 2,500 mg of a deadly drug.  While pathologists across the country are lost for an explanation as to how her levels could be just under 8,000 ng/ml, which is ten times the level that would have caused little Morgan’s lethal dose.  You read right, they were ten times what would have caused her death!

Dr. Kurtzman, the Forensic Pathologist that did Morgan’s autopsy had no problem with an explanation, “insignificant”, that’s what he said it was, insignificant even when questioned by other doctors!  Until almost nine months later, when he decides it suddenly becomes “significant”, so much so that it proves her suicide, is this guy really serious?  Did he talk with Morgan’s doctors, any of them? NO!  Did he talk with her teachers, any of them?  NO!  Did he talk with her friends, any of them?  NO!  Did he talk with her parents, yes he did, and when we told him that she wasn’t taking that he told us the parents are always the last to know.  I said that is not true, and he hung up.

I could go on for hours, but I’m sure you get the idea. Did they have a suspect? Yes!  A #1, oh he did it, we are a 100% sure suspect.  They just changed their mind, the Sheriff’s Department, after Morgan was found dead.  Morgan does not get to change her mind, she suffers the consequences of incompetence, forever.  Dead at age twenty, with a book full of plans for her future, only two years left before she can get her Bachelor’s degree and take the LSAT’s to go to law school, and the Sheriff’s department is content to read through her iphone, and decide no evidence on her death existed there.

Then where was it?  The evidence? Or was Garfield County just more concerned with keeping their perfect suicide record they have going?

So what about those protection orders?  I feel like it comes down to who is enforcing them, how, and how seriously.  When I asked in the beginning about a protection order for Morgan I got double talk.  It went like this – If you hold off on the protection order, we can do all these things that we won’t be able to do after you get a protection order.  Sounded good so we held off with a protection order and then they promptly did none of the things they were going to do if we held off with the protection order.  What exactly was the reasoning for that?

Read about protection orders, they travel with you.  It is up to you, but a copy can be filed with every law enforcement agency at places you travel to, and they are required to be upheld.  Are you thinking that only if you travel they are worth it?  Remember my story about different agencies right here in the valley that do not communicate?

If Morgan had a protection order I could have filed it with the Garfield Sheriff’s Department, the Pitkin County Sheriff’s Department, the Aspen Police Department, the Snowmass Police Department, the Basalt Police Department, the Eagle County Sheriff’s Department, the Carbondale Police Department, the Colorado State Troopers, and the Glenwood Springs Police Department.  Then whenever Morgan saw the man, anywhere in this valley, that she had identified over 35 times to others, she would have an agency to call and they would be required to arrest him.  Do you know how I know this?  A lawyer explained it for me last week.  Not Morgan’s detective who told me to hold off so he could implement a few things first, then did nothing.  A lawyer told me.  And this was just one of the many reasons he told us about protection orders, some were good, and some were not so good.

MISTAKE, trusting the local law when it comes to protection orders, see a lawyer or see a judge, and ask their advice, then ask the judge for free legal counsel, call victims rights in your state, and ask them for a referral.  Don’t let your child get killed.  They mean far too much to you, and to the world.  And you deserve answers, early and often, not apologies, and avoidance, long after it is too late.

Morgan prays for all of the victims in the world…Steve and I join her.  You deserve the best – the absolute best.

October 14, 2011 – Day 74 of Morgan’s Stalking – Crank up the Coconut Telegraph Line…

Wylah looking up to mom

At 9:30 in the morning Morgan texts with a friend who was heading into Aspen, and wanted company, but Morgan had a jazz class and couldn’t go with her so they made plans to meet later that afternoon at a coffee shop.

Our neighbor Elliott suddenly wants to talk with me, he has news.  We had not talked about the stalking in quite a while. It had reached a point where Steve said from what I was telling him, that it was a one way flow of information, Elliott was always wanting to know how the stalking investigation was going, which I would bring him up to date on, and then Elliott never really had any new information except another rumor that always came via Brooke Harris’ mother, Christina Harris.  Steve had reached a point that unless someone had real intel we should not be sharing what we know any longer. I had agreed, so with Elliott I had just avoided him. But this seemed too promising.

We meet out front, as he was walking his dogs. The first news was that Elliott heard from Brooke’s mom that Brooke and Keenan had broken up and Keenan moved out of Brooke’s dad’s house. He wondered if it had been quieter lately. I tell him that, yes as a matter of fact, it has been quiet, silent even, Morgan seems to have this feeling lately that somehow it was over. I didn’t know what to make of it, but now it made sense.

Elliott says this is great, and then he said something that was out of place enough to become locked in my memory. “Yeah, ever since the detectives have been coming around more often they freaked out.”

I immediately ask him who he means by, “they.”  Elliot changed the subject. Telling me how glad he was that Keenan was gone, and now everything could get back to normal. Which only added to my need to know and my attention was piqued, so I again asked him, “Elliott, what did you mean by they?”

He again tried to change the subject by asking what we had caught on the video cameras, and launched into an explanation about how he’s been extra careful lately because he walks his dogs at night sometimes, and he doesn’t want to get caught on camera, and have us think he is the stalker. His nervous laugh sent shivers up my spine, and I will never forget it.

I thought for a moment, not concerned at all about the awkward silence. We had not talked to anyone about the detectives. Only to ask permission from Rhonda to use one of her trees in case they wanted to mount one of their cameras in it. They used bolts to put them up for extra security, and Rhonda was absolutely fine with it. Anything that will catch the stalker, she had said and was still looking to talking to them about things she had noticed anyway.

I told Ellliott we hadn’t really had a chance to talk to anyone about the detectives yet, we were all so busy and they were sort of putting together a game plan. But as soon as we had one I assured E we would talk about it, that we would probably want him to be a part of it. I told him I guessed it was up to the detectives from here, how they wanted to proceed and all.

Elliott did not stop surprising me. He then told me, “Toni, its kind of obvious, first it was deputy trucks at all hours of the night, two and three at a time, and now all of a sudden it’s detectives, everyone is talking about it.”

I wanted to ask him who “everyone” was, but I still had not gotten answer to who they were, so I paused again. The detective’s truck was nondescript.  It said nothing on it, I thought about it, and to me I would not even know it was a Garfield Sheriff’s vehicle.

Elliott suddenly remembered a phone call he had to make, and our little conversation was over.

I called Steve as soon as I was in the house and he was amazed, he also had his hands full and said as soon as he could he would break free so we could talk about it. He also cautioned me to make sure the windows were closed if I talked about this with anyone on the phone today.  He knew me so well – my voice carries.

As soon as Steve came home it was obvious this had been on his mind since I talked to him.  Before we even said anything he was telling me about Detective Glassmire’s truck.  It might have county plates on it?  I’m not sure.  And he said maybe there were the pull you over lights, but they are behind the grill. If that truck passes you on the highway, you might think, oh yeah sheriff, but you would not be sure.  He wondered how it was common knowledge around the neighborhood.  He wondered if they had canvassed, gone door to door asking a few questions, and not told us about it.  He surmised that would put the buzz into high gear.

Then he was talking about the other detective’s car.  He was pretty sure it was a silver SUV, small, an Explorer, once again not certain of the plates. He compared it to one of my friend’s car (a friend of mine that stops by, while on errands, from time to time). Steve said they park in the same place, in fact right behind the same tree, slightly pulled off the street. He thought you would have to be very observant to detect the difference.

Steve had a conclusion, he was now certain and it would seem that it has to be someone who lived in the neighborhood – at least one of them. I told him I thought we were already sure of that. He had a more global outlook.  Until we are 100% certain then we are not really certain of anything.  We have to avoid the trap of becoming locked in on one person and miss another.  Many times Steve had said he not only wants it over, but he wants to know that when it is over it is really over.

Together we arrived at one thing, obviously Elliott knows more than he is telling. After that it was all guesswork – all good stuff for the detectives.

This said something to Morgan

At 8:09 pm I text Morgan and ask, “Are you in Aspen? Everything OK? Tell Paul I said hi. ”I want so badly to tell her that Keenan has moved out, but we have already decided to tell her in person, we are trusting everything less these days and are concerned about our phones, Steve has checked Morgan’s out and looked for some spike you can see in the data usage. So far it looks normal, but he still wanted me to be more vague when I sent a text message.

Morgan answered, “Yes. Yes. Ok.” With a smiley face icon. I sent her, “Short and Sweet.” With another smiley face icon. And Morgan answered, “Coming home soon with Danny, won’t be long.” I thought oopsie, so much for vague, and I ended with “Great.”

About 10:00 pm a man showed up at the front door with a very pregnant woman at his side.  Steve walked out and talked with them. When he came back in I asked him what that was about.  He said right street, just wrong house, and winked at me.  I knew what he meant and just shook my head.

From a single act of compassion and kindness :)

Morgan's roll

Morgan’s Roll yeah!

This morning I did a blog that had me upset, right after I posted it around noon I received a call from Susan at Konnyaku.  In case you missed that post it was Morgan’s favorite restaurant and Steve and I had just gone there for dinner.  I know who to credit now for the great moment, it was Master Sushi Chef Luis Wang, who made up the sushi roll pressed into the shape of a heart and called it the Morgan Roll.  I guess our waiter told us when they brought it out, but I didn’t hear.  Thank you Luis!!!  I will never forget that moment for as long as I live.  So I talked about it on my blog, and now people are going there, and they want the Morgan roll.  And how this all happens I’ll never really know, but I think that angels have shined on us.  Susan told me what was happening, and she and Willie  have decided to make it a regular special on the menu, and donate quite a large portion of each one to the Morgan Ingram Benefit fund.  Steve and I are once again very touched, and also thankful as we are finding out how much Justice for Morgan is going to truly cost us.  And Steve promised me he was only going to say this once, “And they are going to fight us with our own tax dollars, all our tax dollars!”, somehow I think I might hear that again.  Thanks for your support, all of you, it means so much!