Morgan gave us so much happiness…

Morgan & Me ūüôā

Morgan was always so much fun to be with, from the moment she was born Steve and I brought her almost everywhere we went. Every day was joyful with her in our lives – the world became a brighter place, from the smallest dew drop to the sound of the wind in the trees.

We used to call her our little Buddha baby, but her Godfather used to think she looked like one of the Precious Moments sculptures, so he used to buy them for her…she brought so much light and love to all of our lives – she did give us many “precious moments!”¬†

It’s bittersweet to look at pictures now, because I miss her so much, and yet I am so extremely happy at the same time when I see her sweet smiles. I will always be grateful that I have so many pictures of her.

In my heart I know my baby is safe now and I will get to see her again someday…that day will be such a happy reunion. I know it will have to wait till my job here on earth is completed – Morgan did a great job during her time on earth, and going forward I will always strive to do my best, just as she did. I miss my girl with all my heart, and at the same time I still feel her all around…the invisible cord is still connected and always will be. A mother’s love never dies.

Morgan on her 3rd birthday…

Morgan and her brother on her 3rd birthday

Morgan was blowing out the candles on her cake in this photo – I remember it was breezy out, so we left the cake in the box to protect the candles from blowing out. Funny how you remember things when you see a moment captured on film. Morgan always loved being outside, so we decided to have her party on the back patio that day.

I love all the memories from that house and ranch that Steve built. He built it with his own two hands. I miss those wonderful days. Days that I would never, not in a million years, have thought would end someday, because of a vicious stalker/murder who would enter our lives 17 years later.

I have been told that everything that happens in your life molds you into who you are today. Lessons learned or not learned make you who you are, and everyone’s life experiences are different. Having never experienced a stalker in my life, I had no idea what to expect or how to handle the situation when it entered our lives in 2011 – I was just so very frightened for my youngest daughter’s safety. Steve and I did what we thought we needed to do to protect her, but it wasn’t good enough…that I know now. So my goal will always be to raise awareness of the seriousness of stalking, so others can learn from the lessons I have come to learn the hard way.

Spreading fear in others is not my goal. I love my sweet Morgan, and I wish with all my heart that I could have been the one taken instead of her. The past can not be rewritten, but we all have the opportunity to change the future, so I hope and pray you will all cherish every moment of every day with those you love, because life is fragile, and remember if your gut tells you something is wrong, if you feel like someone is stalking you, don’t try to pretend it isn’t happening, take it seriously. Please share this information with others…you never know if that one time you share this vital information it may just be the time that saves another’s life.

Thank you!

            #JusticeForMorganin2019!

 

A Little Surprise in a Cookbook…

A dried rose left in-between the pages of Morgan’s cookbook…this was so Morgan ūüôā

Today I decided to open up one of Morgan’s cookbooks. She loved to cook and had started buying herself some cookbooks of her own, in the last 2 years of her life. When I started to flip through the pages of her Martha Stewart cookbook, I came across a dried rose, marking the recipe – it made me smile remembering how she used to leave roses in-between the pages of her books to mark something she wanted to refer back to in the future…then I cried again remembering that Morgan no longer has a future – she now lives only in our memories.

This is so unfair! It was so hard getting through the holidays again this year, the 7th time without Morgan. She should still be here with us. Morgan needs to receive justice, and I will do everything in my power to make sure her case no longer stays cold…there is a murderer still free, walking among us, and that murderer needs to be brought to justice. No other parents should have to go through what Steve and I have been going through for the last 7 years because of this criminal. #JusticeforMorganin2019!

A Gift From Another Grieving Mom…

This may not look so special to you, but to me it is priceless…

Another Mom from Colorado who lost her daughter to a sick, depraved animal, painted this rock for me. ¬†It is a copy of a picture of the silhouette of Morgan. She knew when I held it in the palm of my hand I would feel the immense energy in that rock…and I did! ¬†It is very comforting to me and I will always love her for this priceless gift.

Her daughter is 19-year-old Lea Porter – see the picture below. A beautiful young, amazing soul who should still be with us today, just like Morgan, but like Morgan, her life was cut short by a heinous act from a monster. Lea’s body has still not been found, although her murderer is in jail for her murder.¬†https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/killer-sentenced-but-where-is-lea-porters-body

We still need to find Lea and bring her home to her family.

Even through this mom’s pain and suffering, this Mama Bear took the time to support me and give me this rock for comfort. It really seems that all us parents of murdered children are the only ones that can truly understand the depth of pain we will all carry for the rest of our lives, and therefore we are all sadly members of the same club…a club no one ever wants to belong to. I am in awe of the courage all these parents show, while on such a painful journey…and yet what choice did any of us have? None.

This beautiful picture of Lea that you see below I keep on the nightstand next to my bed, along with Morgan’s picture. In my heart I feel like they are both girls are together as friends on the other side…and we will all be reunited again some day. XOXO #JusticeForOurGirls

 

On December 2, 2018 Remembering Morgan…none of us will ever forget her

Thank every one of you for burning a candle on Sunday in Morgan’s memory and praying for justice

One of Morgan’s cousins wrote:
The first thing that comes to my mind when I think about my cousin Morgan is that she had the Biggest heart. She was always was there for me and she could make you smile just by being next to her. She was an Angel. Of course like all teenages she had spunk, but her spunk was beautiful. She was outgoing, caring, and a great listener. She was creative and everything¬†she did perfectly. It was like she did a beautiful dance with everything she did. I do have to say before I continue this, it’s really weird to talk about her and use ‘would like’ was instead of ‘is’. I just cant get over the sadness I feel when I think of her and what happened, but then I see her face in my head and just by picturing her face, and knowing what kind of person she was, I feel better because¬†she would be the first one to say, “Its ok and everything will get better there’s no need to cry and she would give this smile and and at that time you knew she was right.”¬†
I have known Morgan since the day she was born. She was more like a sister to me. I know when it comes to friends and memories, the two just go together like coffee and mornings. Hahaha. I have so many memories with her because I use to live with them (my Aunt Toni & Uncle Steve), I can remember the dinner table talks, and when we use to babysit Morgan when she was little, but I think my favorite memory was the most recent and last one when we all went to¬†Disneyland (this was just before they left to go back to Colorado and then the stalking started). It¬†was¬†at the hotel, we (Morgan & I) went downstairs while everyone was in the room and we just caught up on what was going on in our lives. It was a great talk about her friends and her dancing and I talked about what I’ve been up. We talked about how we don’t see each other enough and how I should just move back out there. I asked about the silly ferrets she had, and if she had gotten anymore pets. We talked about how cool it is that my daughter and her are Leos and that if I ever moved out there she would be my number 1 babysitter, and she was so happy because¬†she just adored my daughter Christina. Oh, there’s one more memory I remember, I went out there (to Colorado) when I was pregnant and Toni and Steve were gone one afternoon, and they had this fish in their room. Something happened and the darn fish fell out of the bowl and was flopping around. We (Morgan and I) were screaming like little girls. It was really funny. I guess you had to be there.¬†
The day my Aunt Toni called me to say “Morgan’s dead” – All I kept saying to Aunt Toni was NO, NO, NO I think that’s all I said the whole conversation. I couldn’t even talk. I dropped to my knees and started to cry. It felt like a dream. A really bad dream. After that there were just questions going through my head like how could this happen to someone like her. Why would God take someone like Morgan away from us. I felt like it didn’t¬†make any sense and I was very¬†confused.
People need to know when Morgan died we lost an Angel. We lost a soul that was the most caring and giving person in the world. I can only hope that my daughter grows up with the moral and respect and love that Morgan had. She put a extra pep in every step she walked on this earth and everywhere she went she touched people’s lives. ¬†Morgan loved life and everyone around her.
Her murder has affected me tremendously and the reason is that we have no closure. I wish we could just find¬†out who did this to her and give them the punishment they deserve and lock them up so they won’t hurt anyone else. I am sad all the time¬†because of what they have taken from our family.
#JusticeForMorgan!