When Morgan was 17 she wrote a poem for me for Mothers Day (she always made handmade presents, or wrote things for everyone, buying presents wasn’t personal enough for Morgan, she always gave you a piece of herself) – I haven’t shared it up until now, because it was just a private present from Morgan to me, but since I am going to start to share more, and more of Morgan, how she thought about things, how she was, etc. I thought it’s time I share this with everyone.
My dearest Mother
She is a piece of work
We rarely get along
For all of our flaws
She bites her nails
And cuticles too
And that drives me crazy
Wouldn’t it you?
She’s been there for me always
But that’s not why I love her
You see, I love my mother
For more than she could know
I love my mother
For the strengths that she shows
It drives me crazy when she won’t shut up
And it does me in when she worries too much
But I love my mother
For every single time
That anything got in my way
And she turned into a beast
A beast that is loud, obnoxious and wild
A beast that wouldn’t stop for the world
This beast is no friend of mine
And I hate it sometimes
But this beast, my mother
Is there rain or shine
This beast, would take out the world for me
Even if I don’t see it all the time
I love you mother
That one thing is true
I love you
For just being you
I cry every time I read this because it is so true, I am not perfect, Morgan was not perfect (but pretty darn close), but we loved each other so very much, no matter what…isn’t that true for all of us parents? Wouldn’t most parents that love their children jump in front of a bus to save them? Wouldn’t most parents give up their last breath for their child? And the thing that hurts the most is that in my gut I felt the danger getting closer that final week, and that one night I let down my guard too much, and a terrible evil entered our house, and the beast in me that Morgan had come to rely on to protect her wasn’t ready – I feel like I failed her, but I now know that I couldn’t have protected her from evil every day of her life, and if evil wanted to extinguish her light it eventually would, unless it was stopped first. That is such a hard thing for me to accept, but I now know it in my heart to be true.
So searching my soul I know that I can never bring Morgan back, but we can keep fighting for justice for Morgan, we can keep fighting (and I can be the beast she loved, because I know she wants me to be just that) for others, and to really try to change the world. Like I said before – there are laws every day being written and put on the books, but if law enforcement doesn’t follow those laws, the protection will not be there. I feel very strongly that is where we need to start – to bring this education to law enforcement, and to require accountability, that they hold up the laws that are required in their state. If law enforcement takes stalking seriously, and follows the laws that have been enacted to protect the victims, then there is a greater chance that victims will know what to do to protect themselves, and law enforcement will be able to stop a violent act before it happens. I pray that change is made, and I will do anything in my power to bring about that change.
I just send u my love…..
Thank you Misty – love and light to you, as well as many hugs for all your support…it means a lot to me.
Toni, you’re such a wonderful mother to Morgan – that is evident to anyone, but Morgan obviously knew it, too. She clearly loved you very much.
I just saw this article today about a local woman and wanted to remind everyone to be vigilant – it seems that not all stalkers like to make their presence known. “Upon further investigation police found that the man had been stalking the woman for some time, unbeknownst to her. He had even placed a GPS tracking device on her vehicle.”
http://www.wwmt.com/shared/news/features/top-stories/stories/wwmt_police-stalker-found-hiding-behind-curtains-womans-home-9163.shtml
Wow Amanda – I just clicked on the link, and read the article…that is amazing! Thanks for sharing, and reminding people out there to remain VIGILANT. I think people read this Blog/Story and think this could never happen to me. I know that kind of thinking because that is exactly how I thought before we all became victims of Morgan’s stalking and murder. What is so hard to believe is that one day we were all just a normal family going about our lives and the next minute we were victims of a horrible sociopathic evil person. So please everyone listen to Amanda, listen to the article and stay VIGILANT!
I have been following your blog since you started. My 28 year old daughter, who lives in Carbondale, knew Morgan by association and first brought it to my attention. My daughter was raised in rural Colorado, with that false sense of security that one feels in a small town. Your blog has made us both more aware of our surroundings. We were already aware of the very real police corruption and “good old boy” political structure that prevails throughout the “western slope” of Colorado, which is why I never doubted your story of a police coverup.
I have not commented on your blog up until now, although I have supported you throughout. Your poem sounds like something my daughter would have written to me. Especially the part about driving her crazy when you “won’t shut up”! Ha ha, probably something all us Mothers are guilty of. I certainly mourn your loss, and I can’t even begin to imagine the depth of your pain. Each time I check your blog I anticipate you finally getting to post the news that those responsible will face the consequences in a court of law. I know that day will come. Even so, as things are, I strongly believe that those responsible have to face the demons within themselves each passing day, and what a hellish existence that must be. I pray for their souls.
Your strength and tenacity is so very admirable. Morgan must be very proud of you. I pray that you and your family are able to find peace and closure in the very near future. Thank you for having the courage to share your story in this most public fashion. It is time for us to demand, as a society, that such government corruption ends so we can feel safe in our own homes once again, and it takes people with your courage to help empower those less brave.
Bravo Ms. Ingram, bravo!
Kathy I can’t begin to explain how much your comment means to me…especially because you are from this area and have children of your own. Thank you so very much!
You are very welcome.
Morgan obviously loved and respected your strength when she wrote about the beast….”This beast, would take out the world for me”
Keep it up, and know that you are well supported in your struggle for justice.
Would you mind explaining a bit more in detail how you believe law enforcement fails in this particular arena, please? I apologize if you’ve already done so, but I’m trying to understand where the breakdown occurs between an incident and the reaction by LE. Thank you.
If you have read the entire blog from the beginning you will see many instances where we were told they would bring in the dogs, or do multiple stakeouts, or interview people (things that were not done).
I believe many law enforcement agents know the stalking laws, and have been trained in the correct procedures to employ with the different type of stalkers, but unfortunately like in Morgan’s case they do not know, do not take it seriously enough, and do not employ the correct procedures. Stalkers many times break into people’s homes, and leave no evidence – they surveil just like they do outside of the home.
Compare it to other similar crimes, home invasions, store robberies, even car stereo thefts, and when these begin to happen with frequency with the same MO law enforcement seems to feel the pressure to make an immediate arrest, and stop the crime wave. In so many ways stalking is the same type of crime wave going on, where every incident should increase the urgency to make an arrest, but for some reason in today’s world every incident of stalking seems to be just another one to be ignored, it doesn’t crank up the pressure to make an arrest like in other incidents…sadly for the victims. I urge you to read the Colorado Legislative Declaration on stalking – they understand, and articulate the emotional, mental, and potential violent actions, and possibly lethal situation that stalking presents. They also articulate the need for quick intervention before stalking can escalate, like it did in our daughter’s case. I was told only 2 days before her murder, by the lead felony stalking detective on her case, that if anything her case was about to escalate…what this meant I had no idea at the time, as he didn’t give me any examples, but the hairs on my neck stood up, and I was even more hyper-vigilant, stressed and worried about her. He also told me that the following week he would be collecting the suspect’s work hours to overlay on my timeline, as well as getting Morgan’s official statement on record, and he was very close to making an arrest. He had told me he was 100% sure now of who the suspect was, but the following week never came for Morgan.
Our older daughter had a bad feeling as well, and called every night that last week crying and begging us to get Morgan out of there, Morgan said no she did not want to be run off by her stalker, and she was confident (because I told her, and she trusted me – fatal mistake on my part) that the Sheriff’s would be actually be making an arrest soon, but that was not to happen, and she ended up dead…long before her time, when she had so much that she still wanted to do in this lifetime. Was this stalker that our detective was 100% sure of arrested after Morgan’s death? NO – her death scene was not investigated as if she had a stalker, nothing was collected, no investigation into her death was opened and her stalking case was officially closed 5 months later with no arrests being made…her stalker is still free to stalk, and possibly murder again>. That is quite a breakdown!
I will also tell you stalking breakdowns between the victims and law enforcement is not isolated to just our situation it is all over the world. There needs to be education and a specific protocol followed in all stalking incidents. This lack of education about the different types of stalkers and the preferred National Protocol that is not being used is what needs to change. I have heard stories from so many other stalking victims, and in most cases it is just as bad as ours. In a couple of cases they have told me their stalkers were actually caught and arrested, which is so wonderful, but most others are still suffering and don’t know where to turn. Here is one example from another girl right here in our own valley.
My name is *****. I was born and have grown up in the Roaring Fork Valley for the past 23 years. My little brother, ****, went to school with Morgan, and I know so many of the people that knew her. She touched so many lives in a truly incredible way; I wish I could have known her.
I cannot begin to express my deepest regrets and condolences for what has happened to your beautiful daughter. No one deserves to meet their end at the hand of someone so cruel and empty.
I have followed your blog since late July, but have never quite had the courage to say anything. However, a couple of weeks ago, I was followed home, verbally threatened and have since seen the same man three or four times around my workplace and bus stop. There is “nothing the police can do”, but to be honest, I don’t know that I ever had faith that they would.
It is sad to know that we can’t turn to the people who are meant to protect us when we need them the most. But as a result, people come out of the shadows to show and give support beyond anything imaginable. This is our world and, unfortunately, we must take it back from the people who are destroying it. You and Morgan have given me the strength, courage and confidence to fight back, and for that I am truly grateful.
I can only imagine a fraction of the terror you and your family have experienced, but please know that if there is ever anything I can do – or contribute to – I am and always will be here for Morgan and for you.
With so much love
And then here is another story from a reader not in our valley – I could go on and on but I just want to give these two examples for now:
First and foremost I am very very sorry for your loss. I just finished watching your episode on Dr. Phil and I was very moved by your story. Your daughter was so young and beautiful and I have no words to express how sorry I am for your loss.
I believe you and your husband with all my heart, I feel the police did not do their jobs correctly and I pray that you get the proper investigation that you deserve.
I was stalked by and ex boyfriend. I was with him for 5 years and he made my life a living hell. I was afraid to leave because he was both physically and mentally abusive towards me and threatened if I left he would kill me or permanently disfigured me so I can no longer model, As I am a full time model. Plus he happened to be a detective for the police department and he would use that to his advantage to torment me. When I did finally get the courage to leave it all became hell. I called the police numerous times and it was almost as they were protecting him. The internal affairs investigation was BS and they said they couldn’t proceed with it until the criminal investigation in court was concluded. I have a temporary order of protection against him and that’s been ongoing for 3 years. We are still going to court and he and his lawyer must have adjourned it 30 times! Now he’s retired and internal affairs says they could no longer investigate him because he’s no longer employed by the police department! So I definitely feel an injustice too.
I’m sorry to ramble on and there is a lot more, but I don’t want to take up anymore of your time. My purpose of this letter was to let you know that the police can be very sneaky in protecting themselves and being lazy. Especially when they know they’re in the wrong they will go above and beyond to cover up what they did. HOWEVER if it was their daughter they would feel differently. I have a lot of empathy for people and I’m truly sorry again for your loss and I put myself in your shoes and have no idea hat I would do.
Your husband and you handle yourself very intelligently and composed, I give you a tremendous amount of credit.
If there is anything I could do to help you or get the word out please let me know, I have a big following on the Internet.
Have a wonderful blessed day.